Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

You Don't Want to Be a Prude

mbstone
mbstone
the rest of your life" This is what I heard from my ex-husband of 20 years who told me that I needed to get laid because "You don't want to be a prude all your life" I divorced him due to having an 8 year unprotected affair with his cousin't wife. Tonight on New Year's Eve he picked my 13 year old daughter up with his new girlfriend. She is 3 years older then myself and a grandma. I went out with a girlfriend and had an amazing dinner and went to a casino. I have peace in my life but sooooo much of a sense of loss. I still struggle with being 46 years old and having slept with my ex-husband and he say something so degrading to me. His ass didn't deserve me but have two amazing children. Oh well! On to better things in 2012. Praying for peace to all of you who are struggling with long term marriages and the struggling with acceptance of your divorce. Hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
01/01/2012 1am

You are so right, he didn't deserve you.

Happy 2012.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
And you don't want to be an STD statistic, either...and sex with the ex is common...just put that on your list of Things You Don't Want To Do in 2012!!!
mbstone
mbstone
Dianie,

No worries there! I can't even count on one hand the hoochies he has been with in the last 4 years. It blows my mind that he would give up having a good girl who has only had sex with him for not only his cousin's wife but at least 7 others? I can't tell you how terrified it was to have your husband tell you that he "thought his cousin's wife was SAFE" and I needed to get checked for STD'S. Yes, after 20 years with a man I thought I knew I had to let him go. He didn't give a DAMN about me....Amen Sister! No sex with my EX Guaranteed!! Thanks for the chuckle!

GeoQ,

Thank you! Yes! I deserve better whether I find myself alone or with someone else! Thank you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You sound like a lovely person, too good for his ungrateful ass! You keep your chin up, like you said "On to better things" YES N AMEN!!!
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi
Any man who would make such a crude comment is an ass, pure and simple.
Celebrate your freedom from that one and set high standards for yourself.
You are much better off without a slimeball like that in your life!
Happy New Year -- onward and upward is the only way to go!
xoxoxox
deleted_user
deleted_user
I love this "sex with the ex is common...just put that on your list of Things You Don't Want To Do in 2012!!!

I need to put this on my list too!! So hard in the beginning to stop some things, even when you know deep down that it is not a good idea. Unfortunately, we are usually the one's that are stupid and getting "played" by the ex emotionally. Just another way to keep you from truly moving on with your life.

Good luck to everyone with Moving On in 2012!! Hope that this year is better than the last. :)
KRKing911
KRKing911
I've said it before and I'll say it again - New Year - New You! Nothing but blue skies from here honey! Happy New Year.
tobywinn
tobywinn
Prude nothing! As a fact, he should learn how to be a bit "prudish" himself. Do keep this type of twisted thinking far, far away. You want a person who VALUES and HONORS compassion. And by the way, the recognition of people with bad character is a concept that you want your daughter to get ingrained ....don't play with it, don't tolerate it, and don't go to lunch with it.
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
What an asswipe! You are well rid of him.

Hope 2012 is better for you.
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi
Gotta love that hurtinandhealin. She calls a spade a spade every time -- no bones about it!
kamary
kamary
If being faithful makes me a prude, here I stand - a prude. He just can't stand the little whispers in his head about infidelity, and is trying to put that guilt on you.

Hope you have a great 2012, mbstone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If he means prudish coz you don't want to do lots of involved stuff, he is being narrow minded. Sex is just a very natural thing for some people and doesn't require all the secrecy, games and dressiing up. Also I think for many it arises from physical and emotional connection, something I doubt he is great at if he can maintain the lies required for an 8 year affair.
I like what tobywinn says. Prude nothing!
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi
Kamary I'm standing right beside you on that one!
kamary
kamary
And it's not for the want of receiving offers, either, hey CK?
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi
You got that right, kamary. My standards got a whole lot higher once I made it through the divorce. I wasn't about to settle for anything less than what I truly deserved again!