Last night I found out my husband has been "talking" to someone else for at least the last 5 months. I can only get the cell bill online for 5 months so I'm sure it's longer, but it doesn't really matter how long it is, just the fact that she's all over his phone bill is proof enough.

I confronted him about all the calls and he said nothing sexual is going on. I don't believe him. He said all they do is talk, she's gone through what he's going through and they've never had sex - as a matter of fact he said he doesn't even know where she lives. Bullshit is what I say. He admitted to meeting her for coffee and lunch a couple of times. And get this, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong because they haven't had sex (or so he says). I told him he's having an emotional affair and it's even more damaging than a purely sexual affair because he's let someone else into his heart instead of me. If it was just sex, than I could chalk it up to libido, but when you call someone every single day, sometimes 2-3 times a day, and just talk, there's more involvement than just talking. It's a connection of the heart.

Thats it for me. I've said all along on this website that I would wait until the end of time for my husband to come home as long as there wasn't another woman. Well now that I know there is I'm filing for divorce. My marriage is completely and totally over.

It's amazing to me how I can go from being totally in love with my husband one day and hoping for a fairy tale ending to not loving him at all the next day. I always thought I would love him for the rest of my life, but what he's done has destroyed that love. The ultimate betrayal. I was a fool to think that he would never do this to me, to us. But, just like most of you, I am now too the victim of another woman's immoral character. How can a woman who knows a man is married with a family even put herself in the position of wrecking that marriage. What kind of person does that.

Well none of it matters anymore. All that matters now is sitting with my STBX (that's the first time I've used that acronym) and coming to an agreement on splitting the assets and spousal support. There's not much to split but I'm going for everything I can get for as long as I can get it. I'm striking while the iron is hot and he feel's possibly a little guilt for what he's doing.

My kids are devastated to know that thier father has done this. They too defended him to the end when people accused him of cheating. Everything they've known to be true about their dad is a lie. My daughter has totally disowned him and said he's not even coming to her wedding and my son is just plain confused. I think he's in shock to learn the truth, just as I am.

Tonight the STBX and I will get together to try and hash out an agreement. That should be interesting.

I feel ok right now - totally betrayed but I'm dealing with it. I guess knowing the final outcome finally feels better than sitting on the fence. I know which side of the fence I've landed on now - not the side I was hoping for, but none-the-less at least I know. I can deal with what I know better than the unknown.

All this time I was thinking that he and I were reconnecting. What a joke, what a complete and utter fool I was. Well no more, now it's time to move on and get real.

Keep me in your thoughts, I've got a battle ahead of me that I have every intention of winning.