I am so tired. Life is too stressful. The legal system makes it impossible to stop the continued abuse of sick ex. I have filed for arrears in support. I won but ex won't pay. He doesn't care about the law. He says it does not apply to him. The court postpones things again and again to give him a chance to get his evidence together. I have no lawyer. He has 3. In the meantime, I have had no income since Jan 2015. I am applying for welfare but it is only $150 month plus food stamps. He laughs at me and says there is no law that says he has to pay me support. He said he gives me money sometimes after I beg him because he cares about me, not because he has to. He told me he likes to see me suffer. He does things just to hurt me. He says the divorce agreement is only good if he agrees to it and after 2 years he has decided he does not agree with it anymore. I can't afford to go back to court.
This man is sick! I have no retirement money. He says it's my fault for divorcing him. He just sold our building for $1.85 mil but I am not getting a penny. He changes all the facts till I think I'm going crazy.
My daughter announced her engagement and I begged my ex for gas money to see her. I want to help her buy a dress, give her a shower, meet his family, buy myself a dress, get a haircut.. I have always dreamed of my daughter getting married but my ex refuses to pay me court ordered support. I am so hurt and he says it's my fault for divorcing him. I am so embarrassed. I don't want my daughter's in laws to know I live in a garage, while my ex is worth millions. I just want to die. I'm in my 60's and am unable to work. No one cares that he does drugs with my other daughter, or that his brother molested me (while he watched). I'm always told that is not the issue. The issue is support only. My ex has money and just pays off people to vouch for him. He has done horrible, illegal stuff to me but I can't prove it or the evidence is too old to be of use. I only have a few 911 calls and I was so scared I didn't give a report. All these things are no good in court anymore because I waited to long to say anything. I guess it is my fault for being too scared. He is in control of my life. I can't go anyplace, live anywhere (my credit is ruined and apartments won't rent to me), afford to have a car, buy food I like, visit my 92 year old mom, afford to take a bus. I would love to have my hair cut, to buy some face cream and makeup, to have running water to brush my teeth and wash my hair. I am still in shock going from upper middle class to poverty in less then 1 week. There is so much more but I know people get tired of listening to me complain all the time. Everyone says get a lawyer. I have. Many times but my case is too complex for pro bono help and I have no money to pay a regular attorney.
I just want the abuse to stop and for my ex to obey the terms of the divorce agreement. Is that to much to ask? For some men like my ex who thrive on abusing their former spouse I guess it is. They only care about themselves. I feel so alone.
I should delete this.