Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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lostwh 11/30/2013

Since my wife left me after 23 years of marriage, I've had no sexual desire. I dont even have the desire to date another woman. I know it's too early for that any way,and i have a long way to go before i get there. I go out and have a ew drinks with some friends and they tell me I should be taking advantage of my freedom and sleeping with every woman I can. I was never that kind of person. I don't want that kind of life. When I'm ready I want to find someone for a long term relationship. It does drive me crazy that my ex wife is having sex with the guy she left me for. Is any of this normal at all?

dairytech 11/30/2013

What your feeling is very normal...trust yourself...Big Hugs...Kathy

dairytech 11/30/2013

Oh...and welcome to our group

Misred 11/30/2013

It's normal. Try to go no contact with the EX Wife and ask people not to tell you what she is up to. It isn't helpful and delay's your healing process.

tobywinn 11/30/2013

What is crazier, having a desire for the ex [who's bedding around] while having no desire to date another! Sort of a oxymoron I would think.

Isn't it funny, we think we want what we CAN'T have even when we know it's very bad for us? My advice, don't let foolish feelings and illusions control you. Listen to your wisdom instead, it whispers in low tones. Keep your eye on the goal not the illusion. You know better, you do better.

hurtinandhealin2560 11/30/2013

First of all, your feelings about your ex wife are normal. Most of us who were cheated on have had to work hard to erase those images from our minds. It's possible, but takes a little work.

I commend you for not listening to your friends and jumping into bed with any woman who comes along. That shows you have respect for yourself. Listen to your gut--it will tell you when the time is right. In the meantime, keep working on you and your healing.

Hugs!

lostwh 11/30/2013

Thanks, Everybody This group has helped me alot already. This has been the most painful part of my life and knowing there are others going through the same thing and sharing their experiences truly helps.

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