At first, I didn't think I'd survive. The pain was the most intensive pain I've ever felt in my life. I have always been a fighter but I didn't think I had it in me to survive this. I had always been the kind that could pull myself up and keep moving. I can honestly say that I hadn't had much pain in my life prior to this. Sure, the ups and downs of life but that's it.

I have survived because I chose every day to make one more step forward than the day before even though many times, I didn't think that was possible. I did it through reading a ton of books, having some major come to Jesus talks with Jesus, bimonthly counseling, DS, the most amazing friends in the world, the love of my family, and divorce support group, being able to cry and exercise. I always have walked 2 miles a day. But 2 miles wasn't enough time to get all my crying out before I got back home to my kids and I didn't want them to see my crying, so I increased it to 4 miles one day and have done that ever since. I would not have survived without that time to cry.

Seven years ago I survived every parent's nightmare - the death of my precious baby boy, Austin, who was 18 months old at the time. My husband leaving me for another woman is very, very painful and very different than the death of a child, but I feel like if I can survive (even thrive) after the death of my son, I can surely do anything! I know I'm a survivor, and will always be a survivor.

I survived my journey by realizing that I was not alone.My faith in God and releasing outcome to him is ultimately what moved me through each day.
Also ,praying for doors to open and doors to close literally opened my eyes to so much around me. People started to come into my life and offered me support and love when I needed it most. I now feel compelled to return some of that back to those in need.I have come through this journey a much stronger, healthier person and definitely a survivor!

Oh, Caly, thank you so much for your reply and reminding us of what TRULY made us survivors through all of this. I could not have done it without my faith in God as well. Hugs to you.

My faith in God is all that really got me through (and is still getting me through)this heartache and pain. I also had to push aside pride and let others know about some of the deep, dark secrets I was hiding in what appeared to be a "perfect family" in order to get the support I needed from friends, family and counselors.

I am no longer a victim of domestic violence---I'm thankful God gave me the strenght and enough self esteem to pick my family up and leave. It was one of the hardest and scariest things I'd ever done but God hasn't let me down even one time during all of this. He's carried me when I couldn't carry myself.

Thanks for this post---we are all truly great people for surviving and thriving during our divorces. As Winston Churchill said "if you are going through hell, just keep going!" We'll all come out much stronger on the other side of all of this mess!

Faith - a lot of faith. I could never have done this alone. I actually slept with my hand clutched around a small velvet pouch that holds precious tokens of my faith, when I left. Praying for courage, strength and direction. I didn't just think that I wasn't alone, I "felt" that I wasn't alone.

Any other time in my life that I felt despair, I'd pray and continue confused and still not knowing what to do. This time was different. The thoughts running through my head were different. When or if I'd think of maybe just going back, there was such a strong, almost vigulent (sp?) strength that would immediately take over me with "NO, YOU CAN'T!" I'd never felt that before. I would always go back into my usual limbo state. Should I - shouldn't I - maybe things will work out - maybe he does love me - what about my life - my family? It just wasn't there this time. It couldn't have been me alone, or I would be in my home now, going through the same as before.

I am a survivor, of melanoma, congestive heart failure, verbal and emotional abuse, and divorce. I read the book of Job, now there's a man of faith...it got me over the why me's very quickly. Then I read the Serenity Prayer several times a day (I have it on a charm on my key ring). That put me in the acceptance and life moves on. I have always been the optimist, looking for the good, the funny, things in most all situations.....so Yep I'm a survivor......AJJ

I am a survivor because I stood up and said "enough"! And then did something about it. I am a survivor because I wake up each day and put one foot in front of another. I am a survivor because I will never quit! I am a survivor because I believe in the power of love - not romantic love - but love as a binding force that will bring us what we need, not necessarily what we want. I am a survivor because I have children who still need me.

I'm not a survivor yet, but I'd like to be.

KatieBee couldn't have said it better. I'm a survivor because I came from a war torn country, wittness the horror of the war and spent most of my childhood living in the bomb shelter. I have to learn to survive on my own and I have three beautiful children who are so precious to me who needs me to be there for them.

When this first happened to me I was in shock for many months. My children were very worried about me. I finally got on some medication and realized that it was out of my control. I couldn't do anything about it. Therapy and my faith helped me so much. My children, family and friends came running. When I found Divorce after 20 years, I realized I wasn't alone and that it helped to talk with people that truly understood.
You all played a big part in my healing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My world fell apart on June 11, 2007 - after spending a weekend with my husband, I dropped him at the yard, so he could work for the week and I had a two hour drive home. At that point he told me it was over - that he loved me, but was not in love with me. I was in a state of shock - to this day I don't know how I made it home without an accident. I had to walk in the door to two kids - one in the middle of writing exams and the other knew something was wrong. At that point I did not share what was happening - I did not want my daughter to lose her year at school. I went to my parents and told them what was going on and didn't tell the kids - had to do this alone - after my daughter finished her exams.
My marriage of 20 years was over - and he would not go for counselling he made the decision that he was done and that was it. At that point it was either I fell apart or I garnered strength to get through. I have to say my kids were a big part of gaining strength - there was no way I could fall apart and not be there for them - they are my world.
My parents, my sister and her family, my brother, my coworkers and friends were there for me from the beginning.
I have grieved and at times it still seems surreal. The problems we had were ones that I felt could be worked out with counselling - but he didn't feel the same - he simply quit on me, found a new girlfriend and walked away from his kids as he feels they are adults and he is fine with being their friend. He's the loser in all of it.
I successfully got my house ready to sale before we lost it in foreclosure, I have pulled myself up many times, I have been a constant for my kids, as they have had to work through it as well and the three of us have made it together.
I've sold my house, paid off the mortgage and circumvented foreclosure. I have gotten my financial obligations under control, and I am making every effort possible to correct my credit issues. I have maintained and supported my children, on my own financially and emotionally because I had to I am their mother! I do not have the luxury of running away - and to tell you the truth I wouldn't want to - over the last 16 months, I have learned to love myself, I realize that I am a great person, I am full of love, compassion and my ex gave up the best thing he will ever hope or ever have. I was left with the best part of my marriage - my children have no doubt that I love them, I have been there for them no matter what - I can hold my head high and know that my ex gave up his family for his own selfish reasons. He makes no efforts to maintain a relationship with our son and believe me that is a huge loss - he doesn't realize what a fine young man his son is, in fact he is more of a man than his father will ever be - unfortunately for my ex he is jealous of his son because the kid is everything he never will be. He is dangerously close in ruining his relationship with his daughter because he breaks promises and has made no effort to put either one of them first. Again it is his loss.
Although my heart is broken, it is healing, I know that I will come out the other side a survivor and better off because the man I loved for 21 years quit on me - he is not the man I married, and I do not care for who he has become.
I'm a survivor, because I have faith, I have hope and I have learned to accept me for me faults in all. I have two young adults who need a mom and I hope to pass on to them my legacy - one that was taught and shown by my parents to me. They will always have my love - as my parents have always given me theirs. I am a survivor because that is what I have chose to be - the cards that were dealt were shitty - but life goes on and I look forward to the future, of seeing my kids become whatever they chose to become, to have grandchildren, to see the future full of hope.
I have also found this site, and have so many friends who have listened to me vent, who have encouraged me and who have been there to make difficult times more tolerable - I have to say thank you to you all.

To those of you that have read my posts of my life and have been there for me I want to thank you. To the new members of this great DS family I welcome you . I have survived many things in my life the death of my parents, cancer for a total of 5 times,. Two of these times in the past 3 1/2 years, congestive heart faliure.I am now in remission for the second time and hope it is my last. A couple of months ago I contumplated one of the worst things imaginable, I truely wanted to die.

So today you ask me what makes me a survivor? The fact that I am here !! Still fighting for my life !!! Finding that inner strength to not only move forward but to help encourage others that life is worth living no matter how bad it may seem.

I am a survivor because I chose life..

Im with zen.. working on it .. mine are baby steps.. but the do move me slowly.........someday!!