This January means some peace finally....to me and my girls. I know the saga is far from over but, The Ex and I have been officially divorced for a year and now that he is engaged and plans to remarry his focus is not on us..That is the greatest blessing.. I feel like I am slowly letting go of the old and trying desperately to figure out the new. I am poor, I am scared, and I am uncertain, but actually there is a small part of me that is looking toward the light... looking forward to seeing what the world has in store for me. I wish the best for all of you too!!!

j2w, good for you, even to see a little light at the end of the tunnel is so uplifting isn't it, or at least it was for me. finances are tough for most of so I feel you pain there but the peace is great....best of times on 09.......

Right now January means the end of my marriage - but I'm ok with that. I'm ready for it and I just want it over with. As I see it, once my divorce is finalized, then I too can have my fresh start to my new life. My first court appearance is Thursday so I think that's why this came to mind with your question Jack.

January also means snow and frigid weather - I live in Michigan, what can I say.

Well, I believe that I have hit a point of being ready to move forward with my life! I have come to grips with my marriage being over and most of the time I am OK with that! I am alone and dealing fine with that (not to diminish my relationship with my son)...What I mean is I am raising my son alone. I am running him to everything from school activities to friend activities, to dr./PT appt. alone. I am helping him with his homework alone. I am taking care of literally everything alone. Am I doing a great job, no! Am I surviving...yes I am! I really do not have anyone to fall back on and no constant supports, except my son and one friend via email and of course this group! That is it! I am in this great big world alone....and I am doing ok!

I want January and this coming year to start my new life. I have to get through this damn divorce, which will be hell, I am sure...but I am ready to stop hibernating and to begin living again! I wish I had more people around to do things with, as everyone is wrapped up in their own lives, but it will happen. Life is going to be good for both my son and myself!

I want to find my sassy self and be happy!!!!!

New Year. New possibilities. I'm not quick out of the gate, though. I think it has to do with the weather! Its more like prep time. Start sorting it out and than proceed.

For me January means that spring time is just a few months away. The trees will start to bloom and the flowers start to come out. I just love spring and summer. It's getting closer.

Let me see.. I have had a good start. January is:

Get ready to do my taxes, for the first time on my own, how hard could that be.. and guess what I do not have to live under some dictatorship where he was yelling where are those charitable receipts, or have every bill on the desk when I get home....and Thankyou wonderful lawyer who got my income from him non- taxable for most of the year..so the ex had to pay it.. so my income is low, TG as I still have no job!

I know I will find a job. I had a great interview between Christmas and New Years!

Yesterday I got confirmation from my mortgage company that they will take the ex off the note, no refinance, no fees! This is all I wanted for Christmas, as he has filed contempt charges against me, and I would have had to pay his lawyer, the court and mine as I did not get it done in the time frame for the decree... and in this ecomony, we no job and I have been very very worried about this..Yahoo! I bought it during the divorce, now I own it..

Which brings me to.. I have to work on the house in Jan. esp if I do not get a job. that means paint, clean toss whatever..and I can do whatever I want.. with no money..

For me it means actually beginning the very real process. I do not think he will actually do anything except yell at me to do things for him. I have drawn up my plans, my goals, begun my search for where I want to move to - just to keep me focused on the happy side of this process, talked to lawyers, started therapy, gathered financial records, become informed about my options, taken steps to protect myself, and am ready to go. He has done next to nothing as far as I can tell.

I've nearly completed the renovations on the house to ready it for resale. I have a buyer in the wings, along with her agent who is a good friend. Next is the yard (I, know you snow birds are jealous). a couple of weeks and it will be done. I am calling divorce lawyers next week. I've narrowed my list to 3, with 2 running neck in neck. I even have a Judge I want to sign the final. I am leaning more towards Collaborative then mediation, unless I get stbx to get more in line. I have gotten so much more of my old power back recently!

January means really diving into this process and not just letting it sink in that it is going to happen. For me, I will do better if I take control of it. I need to do it, I will be healthier and happier. I will be better off, although much poorer - but as long as I have health insurance it will not be that awful. Plus I think he is feeling so guilty, I may not come out so bad after all. That's what I'm being told. I have a good plan and good goals. I will make it happen. I am a strong woman and I will not let fear stand in my way. I am not going to let him bully me, or emotionally, or financially bully me any more.

I did not want this to happen. I didn't want a lot of things that have happened in my life to happen. But sh*t happens. It is how I respond that matters now. I am not going to wallow. I am going to live a good life and have fun. I don't really want to hurt him - I just think I do because I am hurting so bad - he's actually hurting himself, and boy will he hurt without me in his life! He is losing the very best thing that ever happened to him and he is going to miss me like he has never missed anything before. It's his problem and not mine. I will take wonderful care of myself now and forever more.

Carpe Diem!

for me it means COLD and SNOW and practicing writing the next year's last two digits instead of the previous year ;)