(((cmonge))) Being alone can feel very lonely after years of having family around. Did you know that 'empty nest' is one of the stages we go through whether we're married or not? When the kids grow up and begin to have their own lives, most mothers go through a period where it feels very empty.

I have a cat who has been my rock for 13 years. Could you see a pet in your life, too?

The trick is to do what you're already doing, join groups to meet new people and find new interests. The other trick is to think about what you'd like to learn, do or achieve yourself - yes, you - on your own:) Think about old hobbies you haven't touched since nappies entered your life. Maybe you can pick up your paintbrush again, redesign your garden, or go sky-diving!

When you have balanced yourself again, you'll feel a whole lot better. A partner can't do this for you. It's an inside job.

When we are happy in ourselves, I do believe we will attract our perfect partner if it's meant to be.

love and hugs
kamary

I feel your paon cmonge, and I am a guy. So it works both ways. I sucks big time. I go to the gym for two hours every day and I have my 18 yr old daighter with me but she starts college in January.

Completely agree- Sundays are the worst for me as we used to be together watching tv and having dinner. I saw him the other day just a few blocks from our home (which I still live in) working in the yard- I guess it is the other womens home- really sucks that it is in the same neighborhood.

Ouch. Seeing them together would be awful. And knowing he's not lonely like you, worse! :(
My 18 year old left for college this august. It amplified the pain and emptiness.

Sundays used to be really bad for me. I found the weekend would be a bit better if I preplanned my days. Our daughter had been out of my home and on her own for a few years.

Now I treasure my alone time but I still plan a project for weekends.

I feel you....my weekends suck too..........I'm ok as long as I'm at work and then I have high hopes for doing stuff on the weekend but I don't do it......... I get up mourning the loss of the marriage at the same time as the loss with the kids it is one big HUGE loss.....and leaves you at loss for how to identify yourself.....Now its an empty hole.............. .so I end up talking all weekend to the only people that I think can understand......and I am grateful for the people on here.......Otherwise I don't know what I would do.............. Its hard and it is going to take more time than any one of us want it to .............I hate it to

Weekends were always really tough back in the beginning. But it gets better, with time. You're doing what you can, what you need; that's really all you can do now. Unfortunately, it just takes time to work it's magic on the post-divorce healing. And as much as we want, we just can't hurry time!

Hang in there. You will have the future that you want, and yes, you can and will love again. It might take some work, though, but it can by yours if you seek it out. At least that's what I believe! Better days ahead!

I do agree! It's so quiet here. I just hate it. However, I have done a better job lately of planning some getaways to friends on the weekends, just to keep my sanity. That really helps. Gives me something to look forward to amidst all the difficult stuff going on during the week. I've also found that people who have been divorced or have had someone close to them go through this seem to be more open to getting together. They just KNOW how lonely it can be and feel obligated to reach out. At least, that's been my experience. I'm so very thankful for these people. Couldn't have gotten through this year without them.

"I want this to be done, I want love again. I want someone by my side". Single again status do trigger a sense of need. Just be careful your desires for future companionship to alleviate loneliness are attractions of inspiration and not from attractions of deprivations. Being single is smarter than being in a wrong relationships.

I'm finding that at our age, you have to make a conscious decision to seek out another relationship. It's not easy to meet people now and you have to put yourself in situations where there will be other singles our age. I also see how important it is - but how difficult it is because of our age - to take things slowly and make sure they are the right fit not just someone who is just filling a void.

Sundays were the worst for me, too. Not that the now-X treated me any differently than any other day, but I knew that we would have a nice meal in the evening and watch something we both liked on tv later on.

When I first moved down here to Naples, the Sunday Blues hit me again. NOW I always try to have SOMETHING planned for Sunday. Actually, having a calendar full of activities is what keeps me going and out of the dumps. I do a lot of volunteering and that also helps with the sense of purpose. I have learned that "being in a relationship" is the easy way out. That self-satisfaction and deep joy comes from knowing that you are perfectly ok all by yourself.

I know it in theory Kathi, but I can't make the practical jump to being ok alone yet.... I'm trying really hard. I do have lots of hobbies - I'm an artist, I work out a lot, have a ton of friends, but still nothing seems to replace that connection with someone who really cares.

BUT, I can't just roll over and cry forever, can I? Nope, I'm thinking about planning some kind of Sunday dinner and inviting all single friends -maybe just twice a month. Whoever can make it makes it. That way I get the satisfaction of cooking for someone else, whether or not my son is there. Or, the volunteering is a good idea too - I could go to soup kitchen on Sunday nights.

Being happy alone is easier for some than others. Some people thrive on caring for others.

It will get better. You'll get comfortable on your own. It's just going to take time. Believe me you don't want to rush into another relationship just to fill that void. You can fill it without someone else - Then, you'll be even more attractive if you can believe that. You never want to come from a place of neediness.