Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
It's been almost 5 years since the divorce was finalized.
I have been dating my ex-boyfriend from college for 6 years. The year difference is because ex begged me to wait on filing. Somehow, he thought the extra year would change my mind. Didn't. Somehow, ex was surprised when I gave him the papers. He was happy. He thought my boyfriend would get tired of an overweight housewife. He also threatened to tell him why I left him in college. I had already told him months before we started dating. I was out of college, he was kicked out for grades. He didn't know I was pregnant, he asked me to marry him and move to the middle of nowhere to work on his Uncle's farm. Nothing against farms, but I had this awesome job in the city, I was up and coming. I ended up losing the baby. We went separate ways. I left a message for him 25 years later with his mom. He called me back the next day. He knows everything.
So my ex met his girlfriend on a dating site. They're together off and on. I don't keep up, but when they're off, he's busy at the rental property next to my house. He's been around a lot lately. My neighbor said he questioned him about my boyfriend. Said he's around almost everyday and that he gets along with all the neighbors. Then, I get a call from someone I worked with (ex and I worked together) and he said ex was talking about us getting back together (he knows better). Another call from a Pastor saying the same thing.
So, in what world did I wake up in that ex, who wanted nothing to do with me for almost 10 years of our 22 year marriage, all of a sudden wants me?
I have been dating my ex-boyfriend from college for 6 years. The year difference is because ex begged me to wait on filing. Somehow, he thought the extra year would change my mind. Didn't. Somehow, ex was surprised when I gave him the papers. He was happy. He thought my boyfriend would get tired of an overweight housewife. He also threatened to tell him why I left him in college. I had already told him months before we started dating. I was out of college, he was kicked out for grades. He didn't know I was pregnant, he asked me to marry him and move to the middle of nowhere to work on his Uncle's farm. Nothing against farms, but I had this awesome job in the city, I was up and coming. I ended up losing the baby. We went separate ways. I left a message for him 25 years later with his mom. He called me back the next day. He knows everything.
So my ex met his girlfriend on a dating site. They're together off and on. I don't keep up, but when they're off, he's busy at the rental property next to my house. He's been around a lot lately. My neighbor said he questioned him about my boyfriend. Said he's around almost everyday and that he gets along with all the neighbors. Then, I get a call from someone I worked with (ex and I worked together) and he said ex was talking about us getting back together (he knows better). Another call from a Pastor saying the same thing.
So, in what world did I wake up in that ex, who wanted nothing to do with me for almost 10 years of our 22 year marriage, all of a sudden wants me?
I'm thinking the hanging out next door and talking about getting back together is creepy behavior. If I felt safe, I'd speak with him and request he knock it off. If it's not safe, I would consider filing complaints, documenting it and asking if there's any anti-stalking actions I could take with the local police department.
5 years is a long time to stay deluded. Hope you're in a safe place.
That's when this craziness started.
I really think it bugs him that I have no use for him.
I do feel safe. I have 3 dogs who are very loyal. It took 3 years for them to warm up to my boyfriend. I have overprotective neighbors, They're the ones who alerted me to ex's behavior. Then, I have my wonderful boyfriend. He may be over weekdays, after work, but every once in a while, stops in on weekends.
I just think it's odd. I was thrilled he had a girlfriend, but then I hear the reasons she keeps leaving him were the reasons I finally left. She's a lot smarter, it didn't take her 22 years to leave.
Yeah, he's nuts I think. He hasn't got anyone else to control at the moment.
love and hugs
kamary
But I'm with tobywinn. Nothing like a restraining order to get their attention. Don't put up with this crap.
I just let his ranting's go in one ear and out the other. From 30 something and on, he swore I should be on hormone therapy, or something to make me more interested in him.
Once we got divorce, the neighbors got to know me. I was with my neighbors when their wives passed. I've been there through cancer treatments, surgeries, etc. My boyfriend is always there to help them.
And, ex, he promised things, I had to take charge, and he hasn't returned a phone call.
Of which my neighbors decided, yes, I like an occasional cocktail, but I'm not the drop down drunk ex portrayed. I, and my boyfriend, try to help them anyway we can. If I was what ex said I was, I wouldn't be spending days going with my neighbor on errands.
Ex only lives a block away, owns the duplex next to me. My boyfriend and I see him constantly.
I think ex sees me happy and enjoying life, he wants to insert himself. I think he's forgetting the boyfriend.