Cheleb,
personally in these moments I turn to God. You are not alone, I care that you are hurting so deeply. My in laws have had no contact with me either and yes it hurts. This will pass and you must move on. Start taking steps to make yourself feel better. It's great to vent and here is a great place to it.

Chelebe.
My stbx hasn't even told his parents yet but I know I'll be blamed...no way will they hold him responsible for his behavior..sounds like your inlaws are doing the "it's just between them and we shouldn't comment stuff"...probably been responding like that to his behavior for a long time. I'm sorry you're hurting so much...I do understand how much it hurts...I'm strongly suspicious my stbx is in a new relationship because who leaves without a coffeepot, sheets or towels?! Anyway, it seems to be moment by moment, just know that you have support and that it's not your fault. I keep having people tell me that God is holding me up through this and He must be because otherwise I'd have hit the ground a week ago..I have no doubt He will do the same for you. My thoughts are with you!

My stbx's family was so upset when they found about about his affair. His sister told me she refuses to meet her for one year. They haven't met her yet and my children haven't. They would have but they got busted. You have to look at it as if your sister cheated on her husband. You would be so mad and yell and scream at her and be there for her husband. But you would still love your sister. They are in that spot. They love their son but most likely hate what he is doing.

I think it would be OK to write a very loving letter to them. Tell them how you feel. Keep it for a week before you send it. Post it here and we will help you.

Your husband has hurt you, your children and his parents. They don't know what to do anymore than you do.

cheleb, my in-law treated me like your did. They always said that I was the best thing that could ever happen to their son but after the divorced, his mother was so nasty to me, yelling at me at my son's graduation ceremony. My ex brought his new girlfriend to their home and parade her around his relatives, the in-laws sat with the ex and his girlfriend at the graduation ceremony. They never gotten in touch with me since the divorced, I contacted my ex father-in law a couple of times but he acted so cold toward me that I stop calling. I guess their son has filled their heads with whatever he came up with to justify his infidelities and nastiness. I'm so sorry for your pain, hang in there. I believe in karma that in the end the in-laws and the ex will get what they deserve.

Chle, it's the old saying "Blood is thicker than water" thing. When asked if I have any siblings I say "yes, I have an asshole brother and a looney sister, but they are family and no matter what I love them" and I do. I would do anything for them but sometimes we just don't see eye to eye. i wil defend them against all, they are family, this could be what's happening....... I hope this makes sense....AJJ

It's really odd what divorce can do to family relationships. The first week that everyone on my stbx's side of the family found out they called to let me know they were there to support me also. But, since then haven't heard a word from anyone. It's been 5 months. The kids grandma from their Dad's side hasn't even called the kids,that I know of, to check on them at least. My family did not call the stbx because they all know he was the one who cheated and wanted the divorce in the first place. All I can say is I have accepted that they do not care what happens to me or the kids. I will take care of us.

cheleb

you cant stop this.. my inlaws also turned against me immediately and viciously so .
oh and i was the best daughterinlaw for 26 years.nothing i didnt do for them or give to them..what for,i regret all i gave them now..
i cried to them, said he'd cheated and stole.but they sided with their son.

parents will always do that i was told. and its too true. i had to grow up with my father taking us as kids to see the other woman,after my parents divorced..i was so conflicted.
forget them and what they are doing.they have no regard for you seize the day --live for yourself .

and YOU can have your lawyer STOP him them--from taking them to see the OW..
TRUST me, I'd DO THAT, real fast. Empower yourself!

big hugs
publishergirl

Strangely enough, I am getting mostly support from my in-laws. They are wondering why their daughter/sister went nuts all of a sudden. Matter of fact, I'm staying with her brother during the week.

My life has become an episode of the Twilight Zone.

Hang in there Cheleb!!

I feel for you, I really do....that is what I am going to be up against in the future, I am sure with my STB-EX Family. They also are my family!! But Blood is thicker than water, and when push comes to shove....I know that will take his side....I will be truly heartbroken at that moment too!! I am welcome has of now, Me and my adult daughters and son go over to see his grandmother every Sunday. Not one word is mention about STB-EX!! It is kind of weird, but she probably thinks it his none of her business. I think you need to find a support group, and try to make new friends, that you can go out with, and spend time with to make new memories and family memories....I know you think it cannot happen, but it can and will....you are a Strong Person, I sense that about you.....Do not let them beat you down, you deserve so much better!! If you need me, I am always here....Take care...KT

My stbx bad mouthed me to his family and told them how much they would like his new girlfriend (we are still married), that all I did was nag and coplain and complain, etc. I believe they believe him. Haven't heard from any of them since he left other than his mother and he just tried to "not go there." She's a very sweet woman and I don't fault her as pemdcat said, "blood is thicker than water." Whatever, I know the truth, too bad his family doesn't!

My in-laws have met the stbx; yes, I was shocked and appalled at this. Just chock it up to the old "Blood is thicker than water" adage and move on. They have not been mean to me, but haven't called or had contact with me since the first week or two of the separation.

I totally expected this though. I've watched enough divorces in my stbx's family to know how the game is played. They've probably already taken my picture off the wall and removed my photos from the albums--that will be LOTS of photos.

You can't control what others do, only control yourself. When I have seen them, I have been cordial and friendly. I even sent them cards for mother's day and birthdays. I also consider they are elderly, and I try to make exceptions. In other words, take the high road.