Good luck. Please remember--don't agree to anything in writing or sign anything without talking to an attorney. You are emotionally vulnerable right now. Be cautious.

Right now, I don't think that's a good idea, but eh... what do I know... Good luck buddy.

Hurting has good advice for you. I encourage my clients to talk about settlement to get an idea of what the other side is thinking. It does help to see if a battle is on the horizon or not.

I agree, get a good attorney before you agree to anything regarding the divorce. If she wants to tell you things, then listen carefully but hold your cards close to your chest. Also, for your emotional health it may be best to distance yourself from her and go no contact for a while. I know it is hard when you are co-parenting, but do not try to be her friend. Get a good counselor and talk, talk, talk. Good luck and just know that we understand your pain and how important it is to take care of yourself.

Good luck. Please remember--don't agree to anything in writing or sign anything without talking to an attorney. You are emotionally vulnerable right now. Be cautious.

I just copied hurtin's post because it pretty much says it all. Good luck-take care of yourself

The only way I was able to get over my ex was no contact from the get go but our children were adults already.

I do think no contact is a good idea- everytime I would talk to ex it was not good. I hope it works out for you. Best of luck.
Cheryl

Gocubbies:
My first response to this is to say DON'T DO IT. It is waaaay too early in the process for you to accomplish anything in a discussion. YOU need some time to let all this settle and for your head to catch up with what's going on with you emotionally.

You say you are seeing an attorney tomorrow? WAIT until AFTER you have had this initial consult and whatever you do, keep in mind what the others have said -- it is way too early and don't agree to anything UNLESS and UNTIL you have chosen at attorney and have his/her advice. Too many folks here agreed to things too early in the process and then paid Hell trying to have them undone.

Act in haste -- repent in leisure. This is a process and it takes time. Be good to yourself and it might behoove you to simply go NO CONTACT with her for a few days, at the least.

Well, I tried one last time to see if there is any hope for counseling and it didn't work. She didn't call back. I will call the attorney just to consult and take time for healing. Trying to cope with my wife as a friend for the kids is going to be hard but I will do it for them.

The counseling still may be a good option for you. You need the emotional support to grow and get through this difficult time. Counseling can give you healthy coping skills.

I agree with NannieBe. If your wife refuses to go, then GO FOR YOURSELF. Trust me -- were it not for my therapist, I don't know how I would have ever handled the crap and gotten through it to where I am today.

As for your wanting to be friends with her for the kids, my advice is stick to business and business only. I have to co-parent with my x to some degree too (we have a young adult son who is disabled), and I find it much healthier for me to not engage in unnecessary conversations with him. Most of our talking is through email or texting (then I have written proof). I NEVER ask him how he is doing, is he dating, etc.... I don't want or need to know. Our conversations are short and to the point and that works for me. If it weren't for our son, I would go completely no contact with him. This is healther for me. My life is not about being his friend or making him feel special and wonderful anymore. That ended when he walked out the door.

I'm with you Healing. That ended when he walked out the door. Good one!

You all help me out. Thank you very much!!!

HealingT is right on the money. Talk only about business that is necessary to speak about. You need to think about you now!