Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
And it wasn't too hard...
While checking out at the vets office today, the girl behind the counter commented that she (the dog) was due for yearly shots. Then I remembered I had never put in an address change with them. Obviously the reminder card they send went to my former address..... do you think the very stbx bothered to let me know? No telling what kind of mail he hasn't given me.
But I digress... lol
Anyway, I told the clerk that I needed to change my address for just myself and my dog (the other two dogs stayed with him) ... when she asked who {x's first name} was ... I said ....without hesitation... "he's my ex"....
Now, for some people that might not be significant... but for me... that's a milestone LOL... I'm a VERY private person, only my closest friends, family and my DS friends here know my situation. It's the first time I've really said it out loud.. and it was EASY!!
Technically we're not quite officially divorced - I just approved the final draft of my settlement today and they are sending it to his attorney for him to sign. I don't anticipate any problems there - he'll probably burn rubber to get there to sign.. hee hee. The last step is to go before the judge for a 5 minute deal (stbx doesn't even have to show) - get judge's signature and we are DONE. Attorney thinks we can get a court date before the end of this month.
It's really taken me way too long to get to this point. We've been separated almost 2 yrs. But, I guess I needed this time to adjust and heal. Not that I'm completely done.... still got some work to do, but I think I'm well on my way!!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!
While checking out at the vets office today, the girl behind the counter commented that she (the dog) was due for yearly shots. Then I remembered I had never put in an address change with them. Obviously the reminder card they send went to my former address..... do you think the very stbx bothered to let me know? No telling what kind of mail he hasn't given me.
But I digress... lol
Anyway, I told the clerk that I needed to change my address for just myself and my dog (the other two dogs stayed with him) ... when she asked who {x's first name} was ... I said ....without hesitation... "he's my ex"....
Now, for some people that might not be significant... but for me... that's a milestone LOL... I'm a VERY private person, only my closest friends, family and my DS friends here know my situation. It's the first time I've really said it out loud.. and it was EASY!!
Technically we're not quite officially divorced - I just approved the final draft of my settlement today and they are sending it to his attorney for him to sign. I don't anticipate any problems there - he'll probably burn rubber to get there to sign.. hee hee. The last step is to go before the judge for a 5 minute deal (stbx doesn't even have to show) - get judge's signature and we are DONE. Attorney thinks we can get a court date before the end of this month.
It's really taken me way too long to get to this point. We've been separated almost 2 yrs. But, I guess I needed this time to adjust and heal. Not that I'm completely done.... still got some work to do, but I think I'm well on my way!!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
Now he is definitely the ex firmly and forever. It's a small victory when "the ex" can roll off your tongue so easily. When you are so very happy and comfortable calling him the EX.
Just recently I ran into a couple and had to tell them "We divorced." I was surprised not to have a lump in my throat, or a feeling in my stomach and no tears welling up like a year ago. I considered it a milestone, too.
I'm not planning to hang a big sign up "separated/divorced" - but if someone is bold enough to ask, I won't completely avoid the subject (like I normally would)then again, I'm not going to air the dirty details either.
I was very shy in high school and felt pretty invisible. At the time, I viewed these people very differently than I see them now. I'm not sure if they have changed that much, or if my perception of them has changed. Probably a little of both. The world looks much different at almost 52 (tomorrow!) than it did at 17. Actually, I look very different too. I always looked young for my age, so that's paying off now. LOL When I run into people I haven't seen for a while, they seem very surprised - in a good way. Yeah... I'll admit it... feels pretty good... :)
Thank you all for your words of enouragement!
I try not to say "my" ex, but rather the ex or an ex. Once in a while someone may say to me, you were married 27/28 years and you divorced, what happened. I have for the most part found that at our age, there are just as many people that have been divorced, and for some a few times, than there are married... and look forward to the day when one of your married friends says.." I love my husband, but I am just a teeny bit envious, you got to start all over, and you get to do what you want whenever you want to.. that, and that great BF you have... Living well is the best revenge.. My friend is well aware how hard a journey I went through to get where I am.. and was there for me. You will have some setbacks, but for me, once I started to enjoy what I did have and not mourn what wasn't, I could say what I never ever thought I would.. I like being divorced! BIG HUGs
Have a fabulous time today.
I hope you go to the reunion. ((HUGS))
Vector - Kathi - you two are hilarious!!