Works for me...and she was worth it...AJJ

I am beginning to realize that he isn't worth it. He once was, but the person he has become is just not worth it anymore. Of course, like so many of you, I still fantasize that he will come back to me the man he once was and tell me he loves me and wants to get back together. I am not sure what my answer would be at this point.

Where did the n't go, for she wasn't worth it....lol

Pemdcat: I was wondering about that.

Pemdcat, too funny. I hope with time I realize he wasn't worth it. I know it intelligently, but my heart has to catch up. Anyone who can do what he has done to his entire family, really isn't worth it.

so very true..thanks for sharing!

When my intelligent prudent husband of many years began thinking solely with "the little head', the results were amazing. Horrible really.
As he is, he is no longer "worth it."
I could NEVER trust him, and doubt that he would ever be man enough to "earn" his way back into the relationship. He has done MUCH damage....

Although, sometimes I think that, deep down inside, our spouses don't believe they are worth it, and that is why they make the poor decisions that they have made. I know it doesn't seem like that's what is going on, but I suspect there's often an element of deep-seated feelings of worthlessness that serve as a motivating factor in the choices that ruin a marriage.

I believe my husband is worth it. I just don't think he believes he is.

CarolAnnie - you said it beautifully. Sad but true! the Woman I married was / is far from perfect. She has done much damage and (HIGHLY UNLIKELY event) if she changed her mind, I don't know that I could take her back. but none of that changes the fact that she was / is more "worth it" than she realizes.

CarolAnnie - I like your style. I think you may have hit this one on the head. I know my husband felt like a failure with our bankruptcy and foreclosure - kind of like he failed his family. Even though he never voiced this to me so I couldn't help, but deep down I think that's how he felt. Unworthy of us so he left. Well in all honesty that wasn't the only reason he left, but I think he kind of bottomed out during this time. Good response to my post.

Chrissy614, I liked what you wrote in your last post. I think mine felt unworthy also. There were so many awful things that he did that he had to leave because he couldn't face them. He has told me he feels like a failure~it still doesn't make all the hurt go away :(

CarolAnnie: You are right on in voicing your compassion for someone who has made huge mistakes, notably yours and many other's husbands (and wives, Pemdcat.) Tho my wife left me, I have taken the lion's share of responsibility and am now trying to resolve inadequacies underlying the loss of self I felt in my marriage. This compassion, I believe, is a really healthy, deeper and necessary part of healing that can emerge as rage and anger subside.