I just wanted to share something my shrink said to me. I kept telling him about all the rotten things he had been doing and my shrink said that divorce brings out the ugly in people. He said he has seen it over and over again but the nicest person will turn into someone you don't recognized and do things you wouldn't believe and will their behavior will be down right ugly. He said that anyone expecting anything better is setting themselves up for disappointment and hurt. He said that the person leaving is usually going to be a dirty dog and they are not the person people know them to be. He said the person being left expects the leaver to act the way they know him or her but that is a big mistake and the person being left needs to understand that they need to expect the worst. He said that divorce brings out the very worst in people and people are mean, vile and care only about what they want and feel they are entitled to this behavior.

Now most of us I think have already experienced at least some of this. But for those who are still learning "the ways" of divorce it would be good to know. Even the nicest, gentlest, most unlikely person will completely change when it comes to divorce and whatever you do you should expect the worst. If you are pleasantly surprised, great! But if you expect them to play "fair" in the divorce, in most cases you are going to be very disappointed and hurt.

I made that mistake. I kept thinking he would "do the right thing" by me and my children and when he didn't, I was crushed. That happened over and over again. I kept thinking about the man I was married to, not the man I was divorcing. They are two totally different people and I am finally learning to expect the worst or nothing at all from him. And he hasn't proved my shrink wrong yet!