Kelly,
Sorry there is no certain timeframe but for me it was at about 4 months (after we decided to divorce) and coincided with my divorce being final. It was hard because I had a very supporting, loving environment in my staff (I was a principal at the time) and they were always checking on me. It didn't help that I wasn't eating at the time because they were always worried. Hang in there! It will come.

I too am in a law firm. I used to sit here daily and just cry. My "work family" just knew when it was a bad day. I don't remember even working for two years....lol I must have. Still employed. lol

No one will know how long it will take for the tears to slow down or even stop. You need to feel the pain to get to the other side. My therapist made me wear a rubberband and snap it constantly to remind me to focus on myself, not my situation. You will be okay. It just takes time.

Kelly, oh my, how I remember those days! I used to tell sales clerks in shops that my spouse left me, and sometimes started crying! How weird is THAT?!

You are still in shock. It takes time. If you are getting dressed and going to work and still functioning, that is FANTASTIC! Good for you! Every little accomplishment is a victory when you have gone through a traumatic separation. Don't be too hard on yourself! When you are at work, and you need a few minutes, instead of going to the bathroom to hide and cry, walk yourself outside the building and breathe in some fresh air and and say to yourself "I will NOT give him this day". Every day belongs to YOU from now on.

The pain is natural. You've had loss. But it will lessen with time. Truly. Believe! Take care of yourself right now - have that piece of chocolate or buy those shoes that you want...I'm actually a believer in shopping therapy as long as you can afford it! Go out with friends if you're up to it, hug your loved ones, and try to be content with yourself each day. You will get through this. Do NOT give him this day! Best,

Kellyb, I agree with Iammine. The initial shock and pain can be overwhelming. You're doing great just getting to work!

I used to take some natural calming pills which helped me keep some equilibrium when I needed it. They were based on the herb passiflora, so if you're that way inclined, and can find something with that in it, I recommend it.

Also, just putting your hands on your heart and concentrating on loving yourself can give you strength.

Sending you love and energy

love and hugs
kamary xxx

ps forgot about the deep breaths.

count for 7 in, hold for 7, out for 7, hold for 7. Do this as many times as you need to calm down.

They're right, you are doing great just getting dressed and getting to work. Don't worry, it does get better. I would be lying if I said I don't still miss my husband, and its been six months since he left, but I don't cry constantly, as I did when he first left, and there are times when just for a while, the misery abates.
I'm with iammine on the retail therapy -- even if its just a little treat, be kind to yourself.
Hugs and blessings.

It will get better. I'm a divorce attorney and kleenex is a staple in my office. We've all been through what you re going through. You have my compassion. iI will take as long as it takes - no apologies or shame is necessary.

You are going through a hard time and it's hard not to cry. Just do the best work you can and it will pay off for you.

Hugs!

Lynne

I remember those days as well. Its just plain tough. I work on my own so I could just let it flow...the cows dont care. Deep breathing like kamary suggested and getting outside for fresh air like iammine suggested is really good advise. Both can reset your emotions and clear your head and heart. Like the others mentioned...there is no time frame for grieving. For me...I seemed to go through all the stages of grieving over and over...each time I learned something new about myself and the intensity became less...its sort of like peeling the different layers of an onion until I got to the core of me. I believe its really important to allow yourself to feel what you feel and to cry when you need to cry...its cleansing the sole. I know its probably difficult while working but I'm sure your workmates will understand. Hang in there Kelly...to quote MsTerey...now is not forever..Big Hugs...Kathy