He will simply find someone out there with no self-esteem and latch himself on to that person. The good thing is you no longer have to care about him.

Focus on your life and make it the best it can be.


Sending hugs.

I agree. He took all my self esteem but I am slowly getting it back. And it feels soooo good! Counselor says he's just starting to feel the power if guilt. Only fair in my eye. He's not going to come out if this unscathed. It may not be christian like to wish him pain but the devil made me do it!

NOHAPPY: You said "He took all my self esteem but I am slowly getting it back."

No one can TAKE our self-esteem! No one! However, back when we were young and stupid and easily influenced (and blinded by that "head over heels in love" thing, we ALLOWED the other person to influence us in what was often very UNHEALTHY WAYS. In other words, THEY didn't TAKE anything from us -- WE ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN!

Once you are clear on THAT POINT, the rest is easy.

I am famous around here for saying "No one can take ANYTHING away from YOU that really matters!" If our feelings get hurt, it's because we ALLOW OUR FEELINGS TO BE HURT. If we subjugated our emotional needs in a realtionship, it's because WE ALLOWED IT. If we dedicated every waking minute to our spouses and/or children THAT WAS OUR MISTAKE! See where I'm going with this?

Going through divorce is more than just disengaging from a legally binding contract -- it's about REDISCOVERING who we REALLY ARE and an opportunity to RECLAIM OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. Most of us old timers around here will tell you that once you reach the point of ACCEPTANCE, the ride gets a lot smoother. And I GUARANTEE YOU that with each month and year that goes by from the point you reach ACCEPTANCE, you will recognize a world of difference in YOUR PERSPECTIVE of what happened. And you will have a much BRIGHTER OUTLOOK on what is YET TO COME!

Kathi didn't know it, but she wrote that for me too! LOL -

Happy - forget the NO in front of your name - you are now going to be happy. It's just the facts. You will be fine - you will be happy - you are strong and you are wonderful!

You don't need no man! Your great company, just yourself!!! -

Water seeks its own level...I believe that to be true in relationships. All the more reason to focus on just yourself and heal and grow into the person you want to become...its all about you now...Big Hugs...Kathy

you are all great!! I know I am not phrasing my words to mean exactly what I feel. But yes I still feel that I lost a lot of my self esteem. I know that my future is more important than my past. And we all have to experience a past to make a better future for ourselves. I plan on that exact thing. I am going thru stages right now. Resentment being one. Hatred being another. Spitefulness. the need to hurt. But all is directed at him. Unfortunately I am doing my best to use the nc so I usually verbally fight with him in my home, alone, when my son has left. The only ones who hear me are God and my dogs. Once I vent this out loud I feel a release. I feel at ease. So I yell. So I vent. So I let it all out and then take a deep breath and tell myself that I, Kathy, am the only one who can really truly help myself. I will succeed. It may not be today or even tomorrow. But friends, I will do it. I have been thru too many things (not willing to write about here) that have got me to where I am today. And with the love of my family, friends and my God I know I will finally be a success in my eyes.

A plastic baseball bat and pillow help a lot also. :-)

love it! now ur talking! lol