Sorry about her flippin luck, and now she is getting hers huh, you should ask her how she likes it when someone walks out on you.....Stay positive you are taking the high road but karma baby karma....

I'm so sorry. My stbx was really mean in the beginning but now that he knows I won't take his crap he doesn't know how to handle me. When he yells about nothing, I hang up the phone. I've warned him.

My stbx's behavior is so out of character from the man I knew that I never know what is coming.

She probably has regrets and is too ashamed to ask for forgiveness.

During the first part of the divorce, my X was very blaming and angry about everything. He brought up things from our early marriage as well that were just totally irrelevant that he was SURE my son would want to know. EVERYTHING was my fault and talking to him was nonproductive. He actually became much easier to get along with AFTER he and the OW broke up, which wasn't fun for me so I had to implement the "no contact" rule. Which worked well.

I have another incident that just happened but I'm not sure my situation is a crazy situation like you mentioned but my X thinks he's going to be a major motion picture film maker some day (roll eyes). And of course, I wasn't supportive enough during the marriage so the OW certainly would be. Anyway, after they broke up, he has been making really low budget films. Yesterday, he finally put one on youtube and my son told me to watch it. My son has been quite disilllusioned at my X's instability after being a teacher for almost 20 years. But I digress. So, I watched the "movie" (I say that with tongue and cheek) and it is about the worst thing I've ever seen. So the X asks what I think, to which I reply "I didn't get it". I think it hurt his feelings and his voice cracked as he said, "Ok, we'll talk to you later" and hung up. Like you, I think he is being affected by his choice to leave. So I talked to my counselor about it today, and my counselor said that the X is still looking for validation from me because it's still "all about him". So this is the crazy behavior to me. Why in the world does he still want validation from me or think that I would care in the least bit about his life after he left a 31 year marriage to pursue his dream, one that he said, "I wasn't supportive of". I do not understand what goes through their heads to think we are available to them when they don't have anything else going on in their lives. As soon as they get another "diversion" we wouldn't be a bleep on the radar screen. I'm hoping there are other "crazy stories" out there to share and read about.

Mine was so mean and nasty when he was with the OW he left me for. A person wouldn't treat a dog the way he treated me. After they broke up he was much nicer and since he has moved across the country he remains nice. He recently bought a home and a tropical fish tank, and is getting a dog soon! How lovely for him, huh?

There were no other people in my divorce,, that was in april 08, he moved out in May 07. HE is more angry now than he was in April!

After a meeting or two with him during the divorce, I said to my attorney, "why is it that the one that wants the divorce so much, so badly, is the angry one in the end." He also just got divorced after a 27 year marriage and she cheated, said" I have seen this over and over, the one that is heartbroken like you or me, go on, accept it and the pain and live well and happy, and the other is angry, ticked off, mean and resentful. I know why, because they blamed us for their unhappiness, and guess what, once we are out of the way, their life is not all that great, or the one they left you for is not at all what they thought. They have to look at themselves.

I hope you do not have to put up with this kind of abuse. Be careful, another side to this is they want to come back...

Loved your comment MsTerey on the analogy that "once they have moved on, they are still miserable because they blamed us for their unhappiness". What a true, true statement. They truly are miserable. And now they want to blame us again. Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

I am sorry for your hurt! Unfortunately, mine is the exact opposite of the man I loved! He says and does things which he would've never done previously! It is sad and it is heartbreaking, but it is what it is! Try not to let her know you are upset and do not allow her to treat you like that! You do not "owe" her anything!

Hang in there and lean on us! Many hugs to you!

Unless, this event seems to be what you desire, I would not speak to her at all. You don't owe her anything. It sounds like she's angry at herself. She'll have to work through that, just as you've had to deal with the pain of her decision to leave. To have her back in your life would be very foolish on your part. Talking about the children? Did she call like this when she was with this guy? That's one you'll have to think about. Good luck to you. There's a side of me that feels good about him dumping her - sorry once again :)

I try very hard to have no contact with my STBX. He has turned into a lieing, idiot and I never know what his behavior is going to be like.

I don't have to take it anymore and I don't. I'm so glad that I don't have to look at him or be with him in any capacity anymore.

I feel like my soul is starting to heal now that I don't put up with his crap anymore.

I am in your situation, but I do know you should not let someone verbally abuse you over the phone. I do not like to stoop to his level by hanging up, but I do say, "I need to go now. We can talk about this later when you are calmer."

Your daughter needs your help and that is why she confided about the X's drinking. She is worried about her mom and that relationship. I would focus on the more pressing issue your daughter's needs regarding a mom w/ a drinking problem. Bonding with your daughter and being a rock for her may have the added bonus of distracting you from the lesser problem of your wife's persistent issues and temper toward you.

I meant to say "I am NOT in your situation." Do know a lot about being verbally abused though. It's highly damaging to your psyche.

Dear wm98, I didnt read all the above but I like, alot,what Nan said. And Porada is right on about the calm of dealing with their irration.

I dont know what yourX and your argument issues were prior, but she has no busines power stuggling or insulting you now--your marriage is over. You are still healing from betrayal and loss and letting go of love for her. I know the pain of losing your loves' care, and I hope her negative attention isnt pulling (too hard) on your heartstrings that she cares even a little.

Yes, she's upset at her new life troubles and is inappropriately calling you to dump blame. Outrageous, to treat you this way when she has been SO insensitive, careless, irresponsible.
She's appealing to you in her confused, clumsy, inebreiated way. Dont bite the hook. However long your life together, You're past that now and, as youve said, staying positive. Keep bringing YOUR new Life into
focus. Stay with it and Trust.

my ex hubby would call 911 if i didnt answer , he would tell them his kids are in danger !! after a few times of this they put him in jail !! after that its been 4 yrs

Good for you for hanging up the phone. My entire 20 plus years was spent with abuse. Divorce freed me from that. I don't have to allow my ex or anyone to treat me or my children that way anymore. My ex sometimes calls me 10-12 times a day if he is really wound up. I really struggled at first not to let myself get sucked down into that habit of just listening, as I had always done. My attorney really scolded me and kept telling me that If I listen to that crap I am encouraging him to continue to do it.
I can tell by my ex's tone of voice on the phone when he is getting ready to start the name calling and yelling.. So now I now just say, I am hanging up now...It works.
I also feel that it is about time that my daughters see me stand up for myself and that respect and kindness and consideration for others is so important.
There are always consequences for behavior..Your Ex made her choices, what happened years ago is history.. Hang up and hug your son!!!!