Get an attorney to start your representation in divorce proceedings and then block your H from your phone. I always recommend that you go NO CONTACT and let your attorney handle everything. It will save you a lot of pain and angst.

I am truly sorry you are going through this. All of us here have been exactly where you are at one point or another. All I can tell you right now is to be gentle with yourself! Find a good counselor or therapist to help you with the emotional part and retain a good attorney to look out for your financial future.

It DOES get better with time, but right now it may be one day at a time -- hour by hour; sometimes minute by minute. We're all here to help you through this. I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers.
xoxo

If you have no reason to have regular contact (minor children to co-parent) then you should block his texts. It will destroy your self esteem getting these messages. There is a slight chance he is doing it on purpose to either rile you up or hurt you. Be pro-active instead of reactive for your own mental health. (((HUGS)))

and yes...if you have not yet....get thee to therapy and see a lawyer to get the ball rolling.

I only sent one by accident early on and none after that. So if it's more than one in my opinion it's not by accident. I have tried to block my ex from contacting me but I can't block her number on my phone and my attorney won't do anything to stop her, isn't that what I am paying her for?

Yes, I just got one a week or so before Christmas. Luckily not too graphic, bit it still stung. We are divorced, so he can date whoever he wants. But, I've sent texts to wrong people at least 4 times, so it can easily happen when you are moving quickly. And my ex and I do talk, so he could have switched between conversations quickly and made the mistake. Do you and the OW have similar names? Choosing the wrong one in his contact list? Do you send them back to him, or reply? It's pretty hurtful. :(

My ex is still in my favorites list. I should probably change that. We talk way less often these days. Probably 20 texts per day when married, now less than once a week.

OMG you definitely need to remove him from your Favorites list! Put him on the Least Favorite list instead!

Change the phone numbers and service carrier if possible. I kept my phone numbers, but he would not dare call me because I will and can use his head as a bowling ball. I do not think it is done in error. It is his way of saying, I can get anyone that I want. Ignore him and go no contact as much as possible. When you do see him, just smile and walk away. They are not worth our time or energy. Hugs

I got a 'pocket dial' once from him and he was in the car with another woman. I didn't answer the phone (on purpose) so I had like a 3 minute long garbled message on my voicemail -vomit. I blocked him on iPhone after that. I can't get texts, calls or face time calls. He supposedly accidentally did that too but it was on his iPad so I'm not sure I'm buying what he's selling. The only venue that he can reach me is email.

Blocking him makes me blissfully unaware of his existence. Our children are adults so I figure if there's an emergency, the proper authorities will know how to get in touch with me. If it's an emergency for him well frankly Scarlet I don't give a damn!

I always recommend going as no contact as humanly possible. In that scenario you no longer have to worry about what his intentions are. He's a cheater if he has an 'other woman' and that's all you need to know about his intentions.

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I've received "nice" texts from my stbx. I usually ask "You sent this to your wife - did you mean to send this to someone else?" My stbx is a 'text-aholic' (not to mention an alcoholic) Rather childish, I think. His little texting/sexting/chexting is why I am divorcing the loser.

I blocked my ex's number on my phone. I want to be sure I get nothing from him. Unfortunately, he accidentally sent a text for the OW to my son and then acted like it was no big deal when it was brought to his attention.

Block him. He's doing it on purpose. Unless your names are very similar, he knows exactly what hes doing.

Thanks everyone. I could not find a way to block him on my ancient phone. I think I will take your advice, knuckle, and change carriers. Time for a smart phone!!

If you have an online account with your carrier, I think you can block it that way. Maybe even block just texts and not calls.

Buttercup...this is simply not healthy. You really do need to go No Contact..or...if you still have small children...limited contact.

When I went through my 1st divorce my ex and I stayed in constant contact. It was a killer but I needed that. I was hanging on to the littlest things. I would take what he said and twist them to suite my needs. He would purposefully keep me hanging on by giving me verbal carrots. He would even stop by for visits. It was brutal. When I didnt hear from him I would panic...my mind would make up all kinds of scenarios...it was toxic on all levels.

When I went through this 2nd divorce I cut off all contact. We didnt speak or see each other for almost 2 years. When we started talking again...those old behaviors came back...again...he gave me those verbal carrots that a part of me wanted to fall for...I knew I had more healing to do and ended contact with him again...it lasted for over a year. Now...we are working on being friends and its working out well...however...its me that is in a better place to deal with it. We are actually just friends with no hidden agendas. It has been almost 6 years since that 2nd divorce.

What I have learned through my experience is...for those that left...it was not a easy task...they too have suffered there own hell especially the years leading up to the actual leaving . My ex did not intentionally hand me those verbal carrots...it was more subconscious than intentional. Now I am in a better place and can see when these things are happening and call him on it. He and I have had many conversations about those times...guilt was his biggest hurdle and still is.

Buttercup...if it still hurts stop doing it. As CGK said...he can not do anything if you dont allow it. This is on you. Its up to you to put a stop to it. Other than small children...there is no reason to stay in contact until you are completely healed. When he no longer can effect you and you can brush him off like a fly...yet wish him well...you are healed...that's when a limited relationship can be formed...you are not there yet...Big Hugs...Kathy

I got one before he moved out. It was derogatory toward me. I texted him back saying something like "So these are the lies you're telling her?" Silence, no response. Idiot.

Even if you say you can't block someones calls or texts, you CAN CHOOSE TO IGNORE THEM! No response says so much more...