I made the mistake of drinking when my wife left. I'm not talking about acouple of beers, I would drink til I passed out, It was the only way I could ease the pain and sleep. But I'm happy to say I haven't had a drink in a week. I saw how it was upseting my kids, and it dawned on me that even when she was gone she had control over me. I refuse to let her have control over any part of my life again. I lived with the threat of her leaving and taking the kids most of the marriage. The children are grown now and she doesn't have that to scare me with now. I hope this feeling of freedom last, but I've looked back at the 23 years and realize she never appreciated anything I did. I worked 2 jobs for years, just so we could have something extra and never even a thank you. I look back and see that all i wanted was for her to appreciate me. I know now that there was no way to make her happy. And I know she will never be happy with the guy she left me for. I am going to move on and things will get better. I might find someone else or I might decide I'm happy single. The key word is happy, Thats all I want to be is happy. After 23 years of trying to make her happy, she ended up cheating on me. So now it's time to think about mine and my childrens happiness. I really appreciate all the advice and encouragement you all are a blessing!!!