I just went to my favorite clothing site on line and won't you know it: the picture of a tall, black haired, slender woman, gorgeous to a tee staring back at me. My heart sunk. Just for a second, I thought is this what "she" (the OW) looks like? Then I realized just how much he can take from me if I allow him. I am not going to. I have been thinking of the little things we can do to make ourselves feel better. I have started taking care of my skin. And today, I realized I had an urge to wear my bangles! And I am thinking of a nice dress for next spring. Just ordered some concealer because my undereyes are dark and hollow (remember one of my ex's dig at me was that Indian women get dark circles under their eyes, making them very unattractive.) But I bought the concealer for me. It's time I don't look so bad. A nice salmon colored one from Bobbi Brown to counteract the darkness.
Planning on putting on at least 5 pounds. I actually have an unbelievable figure once I put on some weight. Plan on hitting the gym at some point. Amazing what a nice shade of lipstick might do for you.
I am working on the inside. Reading. Reading. Reading. Feeling the pain and the breaking of my heart. Not breathing normally yet. But today, I listened to a song I used to growing up. I allowed myself, to close my eyes and just listen.
come next spring, I plan on being a different, stronger person. That's it. I am planning for Spring. I am looking for the best dress to wear. To feel the sun on my face and arms. I am planning to feel alive. I am planning for Spring.