Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Surviving Divorce: Recommended Book Resources
Time4Kim
As promised, I've compiled a list of books that I have personally read in the last year. Yes, it is long. But, I learned something valuable from each and every one of these books. I've organized them into broad categories according to stages of divorce recovery and healing. I think this will help to prioritize which books you might want to read now and which ones to consider for later stages. Even if you feel you're already beyond a certain stage, I think you might find valuable insight in going back and reading the books from prior stages. I read these in no particular order, though I think the books in the first stage are listed in an order that will likely help those who have experienced sudden abandonment, especially if infidelity was involved.
I sincerely hope that this list will help you on your journey to healing. At times as I was reading each of them, I would scream, cry, laugh out loud, nod my head in amazed agreement, and feel a sudden sense of peace wash over me. I had many AHA moments of incredible clarity and understanding. The stories and words are enlightening, healing, and powerful. Sometimes they were hard to read. But, I took something of great value from each one. I found that parts of each book resonated deeply within me. In fact, it felt as though the authors were inside my head. Hopefully, you will be able to connect with them as I did. I've read some of these books two and three times. I keep them on my Kindle and take them with me everywhere. I think of them as my portable therapy resource.
Wherever you are in your journey, know that all is not lost. You are not, by any means, alone. So many people have experienced what you are now going through. The take away for you is that there is always hope. Don't give up, and don't ever believe that you cannot live a happy and fulfilling life just because someone failed to see your beauty, value, and worth.
Happy reading!
All my best,
Kim
Stage One: Shock, Fear, Helplessness, Loss, Grief, and everything in between:
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing – Susan Anderson
Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal – Vikki Stark
When Happily Ever After Shatters: Seeing God in the Midst of Divorce & Single Parenting – Sue Birdseye
When He Leaves – Kari West
Getting Past Your Breakup – Susan Elliott
He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After 40 – Erica Manfred
Buddha Breaking Up: A Guide to Healing from Heartache & Liberating Your Awesomeness – Stephanee Killen
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) – Pema Chodron
The Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: The Buddhist Path through Divorce – Gabriel Cohen
On Your Own Again: The Down-to-Earth Guide to Getting Through a Divorce or Separation and Getting on with Your Life – Keith Anderson
Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours (new ed) – Daphne Rose Kingma
Detach and Survive: A Book of Self-Care for the Wives of Midlife Crisis Men – Midlife Maze
Stage Two: When you Need Tough Love to Accept Your New Reality:
It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy – Greg Behrendt
Stage Three: When You Begin Wanting to Rebuild Your Life And Seek Emotional Well Being:
Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow – Elizabeth Lesser
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles – Marianne Williamson
Something More, Excavating Your Authentic Self – Sarah Ban Breathnach
Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend – Christine Arylo
Reveal: A Sacred Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked – Meggan Waterson
Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach
Think Right, Feel Right: The Building Block Guide for Happiness and Emotional Well-Being – Robert Isett
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy – David Burns, MD
The 18 Rules of Happiness: How to Be Happy – Karl Moore
Deliver Me From Negative Self Talk: A Guide To Speaking Faith-filled Words (Negative Self Talk Series Book1) – Lynn R. Davis
Self-Esteem – Patrick Fanning
I Had It All the Time: When Self-Improvement Gives Way to Ecstasy – Alan Cohen
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brene Brown
Thriving After Divorce: Transforming Your Life When a Relationship Ends – Tonya Weimer
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness (Shambhala Classics) – Sharon Salzberg
Congratulations on Your Divorce: The Road to Finding Your Happily Ever After – Amy Botwinick
Choosing Me before We – Christine Arylo
Resurrecting Venus: Embracing Your Feminine Power – Cynthia Occelli
Women Who Love Too Much – Robin Norwood
Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time – Rick Hanson
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It – Kamal Ravikant
Live, Laugh, Love Again: A Christian Woman's Survival Guide to Divorce – Michelle Borquez
Stage Four: When You Might Be Ready to Think About Possibly Dating Again:
The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On – Mandy Hale
Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted – Judith Sills
The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships – Apple, et al.
"Best Dating Advice I Ever Got": 3000 Women Pick Their Favorite Love Tips – Ali Binazir
The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible – Ali Binazir
The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted . . . But Chose to Ignore – Natasha Burton
Emotional Unavailability: Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap – Bryn Collins
99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50, & Yes, 60! (99 Series) – Amy Sherman, et al.
Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life - Marina Sbrochi
Powerful and Feminine: How to Increase Your Magnetic Presence and Attract the Attention You Want – Rachel Jayne Groover
Real Sex for Real Women – Lara Berman
The Soulmate Secret – Arielle Ford
Finding the Right One After Divorce – Ed Tauber
Manifest Your Soulmate: Call Forth the Love of Your Life with a Proven Process (Love Attraction Series) – Kathryn Alice
The Attraction Factor - 4 Simple Yet Powerful Principles That Will Melt Any Man's Heart – Bob Grant
What Men Really Want – Mirabelle Summers
Finding It Again: The Truth About Love After 40 – Ken Shapiro
Finding True Love: The Four Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life – Daphne Rose Kingma
Mars and Venus Starting Over – John Gray
Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship – John Gray
When You Have A Hard Time Letting Go:
Releasing a Person: Fast Recovery from Heartbreak, a Breakup or Divorce (Love Attraction #1) (Love Attraction Series) – Kathryn Alice
How To Fall Out Of Love - New Revised Second Edition – Dr. Debora Phillips
When You Experience Estrangement and/or Difficulties with Your Children:
When Parents Hurt – Joshua Coleman
Setting Boundaries™ with Your Adult Children – Allison Bottke
I sincerely hope that this list will help you on your journey to healing. At times as I was reading each of them, I would scream, cry, laugh out loud, nod my head in amazed agreement, and feel a sudden sense of peace wash over me. I had many AHA moments of incredible clarity and understanding. The stories and words are enlightening, healing, and powerful. Sometimes they were hard to read. But, I took something of great value from each one. I found that parts of each book resonated deeply within me. In fact, it felt as though the authors were inside my head. Hopefully, you will be able to connect with them as I did. I've read some of these books two and three times. I keep them on my Kindle and take them with me everywhere. I think of them as my portable therapy resource.
Wherever you are in your journey, know that all is not lost. You are not, by any means, alone. So many people have experienced what you are now going through. The take away for you is that there is always hope. Don't give up, and don't ever believe that you cannot live a happy and fulfilling life just because someone failed to see your beauty, value, and worth.
Happy reading!
All my best,
Kim
Stage One: Shock, Fear, Helplessness, Loss, Grief, and everything in between:
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing – Susan Anderson
Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal – Vikki Stark
When Happily Ever After Shatters: Seeing God in the Midst of Divorce & Single Parenting – Sue Birdseye
When He Leaves – Kari West
Getting Past Your Breakup – Susan Elliott
He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After 40 – Erica Manfred
Buddha Breaking Up: A Guide to Healing from Heartache & Liberating Your Awesomeness – Stephanee Killen
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) – Pema Chodron
The Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: The Buddhist Path through Divorce – Gabriel Cohen
On Your Own Again: The Down-to-Earth Guide to Getting Through a Divorce or Separation and Getting on with Your Life – Keith Anderson
Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours (new ed) – Daphne Rose Kingma
Detach and Survive: A Book of Self-Care for the Wives of Midlife Crisis Men – Midlife Maze
Stage Two: When you Need Tough Love to Accept Your New Reality:
It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy – Greg Behrendt
Stage Three: When You Begin Wanting to Rebuild Your Life And Seek Emotional Well Being:
Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow – Elizabeth Lesser
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles – Marianne Williamson
Something More, Excavating Your Authentic Self – Sarah Ban Breathnach
Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend – Christine Arylo
Reveal: A Sacred Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked – Meggan Waterson
Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach
Think Right, Feel Right: The Building Block Guide for Happiness and Emotional Well-Being – Robert Isett
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy – David Burns, MD
The 18 Rules of Happiness: How to Be Happy – Karl Moore
Deliver Me From Negative Self Talk: A Guide To Speaking Faith-filled Words (Negative Self Talk Series Book1) – Lynn R. Davis
Self-Esteem – Patrick Fanning
I Had It All the Time: When Self-Improvement Gives Way to Ecstasy – Alan Cohen
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brene Brown
Thriving After Divorce: Transforming Your Life When a Relationship Ends – Tonya Weimer
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness (Shambhala Classics) – Sharon Salzberg
Congratulations on Your Divorce: The Road to Finding Your Happily Ever After – Amy Botwinick
Choosing Me before We – Christine Arylo
Resurrecting Venus: Embracing Your Feminine Power – Cynthia Occelli
Women Who Love Too Much – Robin Norwood
Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time – Rick Hanson
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It – Kamal Ravikant
Live, Laugh, Love Again: A Christian Woman's Survival Guide to Divorce – Michelle Borquez
Stage Four: When You Might Be Ready to Think About Possibly Dating Again:
The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On – Mandy Hale
Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted – Judith Sills
The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships – Apple, et al.
"Best Dating Advice I Ever Got": 3000 Women Pick Their Favorite Love Tips – Ali Binazir
The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible – Ali Binazir
The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted . . . But Chose to Ignore – Natasha Burton
Emotional Unavailability: Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap – Bryn Collins
99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50, & Yes, 60! (99 Series) – Amy Sherman, et al.
Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life - Marina Sbrochi
Powerful and Feminine: How to Increase Your Magnetic Presence and Attract the Attention You Want – Rachel Jayne Groover
Real Sex for Real Women – Lara Berman
The Soulmate Secret – Arielle Ford
Finding the Right One After Divorce – Ed Tauber
Manifest Your Soulmate: Call Forth the Love of Your Life with a Proven Process (Love Attraction Series) – Kathryn Alice
The Attraction Factor - 4 Simple Yet Powerful Principles That Will Melt Any Man's Heart – Bob Grant
What Men Really Want – Mirabelle Summers
Finding It Again: The Truth About Love After 40 – Ken Shapiro
Finding True Love: The Four Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life – Daphne Rose Kingma
Mars and Venus Starting Over – John Gray
Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship – John Gray
When You Have A Hard Time Letting Go:
Releasing a Person: Fast Recovery from Heartbreak, a Breakup or Divorce (Love Attraction #1) (Love Attraction Series) – Kathryn Alice
How To Fall Out Of Love - New Revised Second Edition – Dr. Debora Phillips
When You Experience Estrangement and/or Difficulties with Your Children:
When Parents Hurt – Joshua Coleman
Setting Boundaries™ with Your Adult Children – Allison Bottke
I feel I am stuck in hell. Not able to move forward or backwards. When I see him, he looks like he is miserable & has the weight of the world on him, I just want to ask if he is at peace & this is where he wants to be. Yet, he is living with her, & Christmas get the family a new puppy, so clearly he has moved on.
You are amazing & your words are very helpful. Thank you.
Which book stands out ...if any !
Thanks Timeman
love and hugs
kamary
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing
Getting Past Your Breakup
Have a good day everyone!
Donna
Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott
AND I want to add:
The Gift of Betrayal: How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes by Eve A. Wood, M.D.
Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self by Sarah Ban Breathnach
Happy reading, everyone!
A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle
You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After a Breakup, Divorce, or Death, by Louise Hay
21 Days to Master Success and Inner Peace, by Wayne Dyer
Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting, by Wayne Dyer
The Gift of Betrayal: How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes (In One), by Eve Wood
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael Singer
Change your Thoughts, Change Your Life: The Wisdom of the Tao, by Wayne Dyer
These are just a few new additions. Please feel free to post any books you've read that helped you.
Sending you all prayers, healing thoughts, and hugs.
Kim
What I'd LOVE to see happen is for you to take your list, maybe number it (so it can be referenced in future threads - and also so that each book has a clear demarcation line) and then save it in pdf form and post it to the pictures section of this forum.
Would this work? Not even sure....This site should definitely have a resources section of some sort for each forum!
Please add "Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher
This is an EXCELLENT book and was, in fact, the 'guide' book for my separation support group. I also like it because it is 'gender' neutral so can help both men and women going through divorce.
Also, on a personal note, for anyone dealing with betrayal (the book is more for women I think), the Eve Wood book mentioned by CGK really helped me - the author did an excellent job dealing with the topic.