Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I haven't posted as much but I have been reading and benefitting from the collective wisdom of my di friends. I am just carrying on, as best as I can. The roller coaster is tough but I have come to expect it. The instability of it is rough. I just don't know when something very innocuous will trigger me. It's hard not having stability I can count on. There has been no contact with the cheating loser and the divorce is filed. Can't believe it still that I can type those words. I still find it hard to deal with the memories and I don't think I will ever truly understand how this could have happened. Right now, I can't deal with it.
A lot of infidelity anniversaries will be coming up but I guess I have to just be strong and know that I have no choice but to face it.
Am I getting strong? I don't know. I am still putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I think I am compartmentalizing; I can be okay with one area of my life then it hits me like a ton of bricks that something drastic has changed.
Anyway, my friends, just wanted to check in
A lot of infidelity anniversaries will be coming up but I guess I have to just be strong and know that I have no choice but to face it.
Am I getting strong? I don't know. I am still putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I think I am compartmentalizing; I can be okay with one area of my life then it hits me like a ton of bricks that something drastic has changed.
Anyway, my friends, just wanted to check in
It is so much better, then the healing can
Begin. I could not detach no matter how i
Tried until i went no contact and moved
Out of town. I think i would have a set back
If i saw him today.
Keep up with any and all support groups it
Really truly helps. I would be insane without
Ftf support.
I am in recovery and i finally can sleep at
Night in the last month. I was tossing and
turning still grieving And detaching. My still
Mind was processing so much. My ex was
Always the star.
I try not to let the gf into my brain too much.
I figure if it wasnt her it woud have been someone
else, he was checked out of the marriage looking.
((( hugs )))))
I sometimes get discouraged that I can't make myself feel the way I want to. Well my dear I am super sorry you are feeling so beat up. Your not alone tho I am right next to you trudging this road along side you.
Big Hugs
Just hold on until this happens.
Some days.....some HOURS you will feel OK.....maybe even good.
When these feelings come......learn to enjoy them to the most.
You'll be fine.
Bob
Knowing the sun is going to rise in the morning and set in the evening (for example) are things you can depend on, it make you feel comfortable, they are familiar, you know what to expect and they keep you feeling sane.
Try to find something in your life that you can depend on and grab onto it. Hold it close and know it will always be there for you. It can keep some of the chaos away and give you strength to get through the stressful times.
HUGS
Love and hugs
kamary
We've all been there. The ups and downs will soon enough become mostly ups, and there will be so few triggers and down times that it'll surprise you when it happens. You'll get there. Keep hanging in. I'm sure there are aspects of your life that are good, make you happy. And if you having trouble finding one, then try to find something to hold onto and uplift your spirits, as jojlost said.
It's good you posted when you are down - that's really the time when we need this forum. We are with you honey. Take care of you!