As difficult as it is, you really have to ignore what you hear and focus on you right now. Try to stay busy, start new hobbies, anything to distract you from thinking about him.

Sending hugs. I know this is difficult.

Dear Friend,
God is always listening ok you just have to calm yourself and hear the answer. I know the feeling your talking about for me it feels like we are just being REPLACED. But I now know I CAN'T BE REPLACED EVER!!! MY STBX IS $4,200 behind in support in my state when it hits $5,000 bye bye go directly to jail do not pass go and do not collect $200.00. Your right he is just covering up all his loneliness, pain, and hurt with trying to fill it with a different person. IT WILL NOT LAST BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER SHE WILL SEE WHAT HE REALLY IS AND ALL THE SAME PROBLEMS HE HAD WITH YOU WILL SURFACE AGAIN. See if he spent all the time blaming you and making you feel like you were the one with the problems then he hasn't taken responsibility for HIMSELF and another woman or different woman will not fix the problem BECAUSE IT IS WITH HIM. Then maybe one day she will treat him the same way he treated you LIKE CRAP!!!! IT WILL NOT LAST THEY NEVER DO!!!!!!!

You just keep doing you take your time and work on yourself mostly self esteem and feelings of guilt and failure like you did something wrong. YOU DID NOT OK. My husband left Jan 13th 2011 and I haven't had a date or anything because I am not going to rush into anything until I know I won't take any of this baggage with me. Sure I get lonely and miss companionship but I know it would not be fair to anyone else to enter into another relationship after 23 years of marriage. My stbx I heard has a dumb girlfriend a piece of trash with no class. At first I thought how could he possibly trade in our beautiful family for a dumpster skank. Then I started to realize that I was WAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE. With the people I surround myself with and the level of grace, dignity, and class we have he JUST COULDN'T MEASURE UP. So in order to feel like a big shot he has to trade down to make himself feel better.

I'm sure he fills her head with lies telling her that we are friends and he still sees his kids and pays is support on time ect ect..... But when the courts get him and they take everything from him to pay us or he ends up in jail do you really think she will stand by his side. NOPE IT'S GOING TO BE ADIOS SUCKER!!!! BECAUSE WOMAN LIKE THAT ARE NOT GOOD THEY DON'T CARE IT'S JUST ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME. When there is nothing left she will be gone then all he will have is his REGRET TO KEEP HIM WARM AT NIGHT. You can do this just keep praying GOD IS LISTENING even if we don't hear his answer we feel it.
SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS:)
Disney.............

Hello, I know how you feel my dear...... It's been about four years since my wife(x) met an old boy friend and left me. Ohhhh, there is no answer as to why.... it just happens ... and we "the ones left behind" must go on...
Know this: It gets easier as time goes on... But for now...... well.................. just do your best...... keep busy..... (I believe) God knows what's going on.... He will never leave you...... Most of the times (I think) ..The souses that leave are not happy..... They are looking for something out there...... they should be looking on the inside for happiness.......... it all starts with in. Stay with friends and family.... be more active with them..... They still love you !!!
Funny , someone wrote here... "My x is not happy.. Complaining.. That just happened to me ... My x (God bless her) recently told me that she lost a lot.. And it wasn't fair to her.. Money, her house, ..even her boyfriend died. ( I don't wish that on anyone) But it happened , I simply wrote back....: I didn't ask or want any of this...... It wasn't my choice. Although I feel bad for her.... It just wasn't my fault.... She ,like me will have to endure………. Like I did.. .
Take care ... do your best........ Take care of yourself....
TM.

Disneymom really tells it like it is -- and I LOVE that moniker "dumpster skank." Fits the bill perfectly!

Asil0510:
I can understand your feelings in this situation -- it's fairly normal -- but here is my recommendation of how to best deal with it.
Keep in mind that HE IS NO LONGER YOUR PROBLEM. Yes, he is headed for a FALL, but you won't be there to pick up the pieces. When the marriage ended, so did any and all responsibilities you once had for his emotional well-being.
As to the new girlfriend, don't waste your breath (or even a speck of headspace) thinking of warning her! She doesn't deserve the time of day from you and if she (whoever "she" may end up being) is so short-sighted to become involved with a freshly divorced man out of a long term marriage, then she deserves what she gets.
The circumstances that brought on my divorce were different from yours in that the X ran off to be with someone else. Less than three years later, she dumped his sorry a$$ and word got back to me that she said, "Everything Kathi said about him was absolutely TRUE!" So where is he now? Alone. Miserable. Having to keep humping his butt every day to pay the Big Bucks Alimony. Ask me if I care? NOPE! Karma ALWAYS comes around.
Focus on YOURSELF and the new opportunities that await YOU! I read in your Journal that you "dropped a check off to his new house." NO CONTACT is very important now more than ever. If you have something that needs to get to him, MAIL IT or HAVE IT DELIVERED via UPS or someone else. STAY AWAY from him, his new house, his friends. TIME, DISTANCE AND NO CONTACT are the healing things!

My stbx "moved on" pretty quickly..probably within about 6 months of separation. He didn't just start "talking" to someone - he actually moved her and her children in!!!! (and if my information is correct, he's working on "moving on" with number two) Which really... I couldn't care less what HE does, the part that bothers me is the lesson he's teaching our son (and HER kids). Showing him this is ok - when we all know it's morally wrong. We are not yet divorced - but working on it. Sorry, call me old fashioned, but I just see it as disrespectful. But, he'll have to answer to someone higher up than me for his actions.

I can't relate to the feeling of being "replaced" - I feel more like I've been freed.. all that's left now is the paperwork.

After that - I continue working on me - no where near ready to "date". I don't trust easily - never have - so I have to wait until I'm emotionally healthy enough to let anyone in.

I agree with the ladies - stay away as much as possible. Focus on you...

Yorkieluvr wrote: "... I couldn't care less what HE does, the part that bothers me is the lesson he's teaching our son (and HER kids). Showing him this is ok - when we all know it's morally wrong."

Anyone with a sense of morals will agree with you that your stbx's behavior is as wrong as two left feet. As to your son learning by his example, this is where your integrity comes into play. Kids learn so much BY EXAMPLE and that's where you will step up to the plate. Yes, what your stbx is doing IS DISRESPECTFUL and that is the biggest lesson in this for your son.

Marriage is SUPPOSED TO BE all about love and mutual respect. You can send him a very strong message about this without bashing your stbx or his floozie of the moment. Be strong. Be tactful.

I am also tickled to see that you have replaced "rejected" with "being freed."
That is a BIG STEP. I kept telling myself that I was "often imitated but NEVER duplicated" and that the OW wasn't even a cheap imitation of the woman I am!

Postiive self-affirmations! That's what heals us from within. Keep up the good work!

All super good advice here. I know what you mean about it making you crazy - I'm right there with you. Don't give them another thought. He's not worth it and neither is she. Move your focus to yourself, your healing and your happiness. It will all come together for you. You'll get to a point where you don't really even care what he's doing anymore.

He is listening to you! Take care, breath! Don't focus on him but on taking care of yourself, you have a good head on your shoulders, don't lose sight of that.

jaycpea - Did you mean to write "He is NOT listening to you!"? I think that's what you meant to say. It's true, all Asil505's words are WASTED on this guy. SAVE YOUR BREATH! He ain't listening!

I think she meant God was listening :) You all are helping more than you can know!

As Disney confirms, it's acknowledges that although your stbx had TRADED DOWN with "bottom feeders" , it's a sense their hypocrisy. Nothing is worse to a foolish loser who down grades who instead finds shame which leaves a bad stench for miles for all to smell. It's their recognition that YOU ARE MORE OF A BETTER PERSON THAN THEY CAN EVER BE....but won't tell you.