Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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drtexdi 07/18/2011

Well, got through my son's wedding! I cannot believe I got through it all. As you may remember, I am staying with MIL & BIL while waiting for move. So my son married a sweet girl who doesn't have a real family (Mom's a meth addict and Dad is disabled). I was the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom. Ex had 2 surgeries in 2 weeks and was no help (physically or financially). I have my Church family and they were AMAZING. Sooooo, ex's GF didn't show up. Ex's daughters who have had contact with me and my sons but not their Dad came for the weekend also. They were nice to their Dad which relieved my fears of having a "Jerry Springer wedding!" Lol. Everyone was on their best behavior. The wedding was beautiful! Now I spent today (after 3 hours of sleep) with my Church family and we got the chairs back to the school. My younger son took the car to transport teenagers from Church so I got a ride back to BIL's house. As the family was dropping me off, who shows up? The X with a new gf. I have no where to go and no car. Now this happens after he tells me how he is looking forward to not dating and spending time with our youngest. There is a good reason for no contact. Sadly, in these types of events, you don't have a choice. I was surprised by my good spirits through the whole weekend.

disneymom65 07/18/2011

That's amazing what a strong woman you are. My son will be getting married next spring. Nice to know it is possible to get through something so hard. Congratulations for making it through you give me hope...
Big Hugs.:)

Shorty54 07/18/2011

Diane, So glad you made it through this "milestone" with no major catastrophies. Sorry the jerk had to show his true colors AGAIN. You did good, girl!!!

deleted_user 07/18/2011

My x was served divorce papers about 4 days prior to our son's wedding... talk about awkward but we were all very civil. It's amazing what we can get thru for the love of our child. Congratulations to your son & his new bride and to you as well! :)

trisha9054 07/18/2011

I think you handled that very well.I know the wedding was beautiful and everyone had a good time. Best of all it wasn't the Jerry Springer event that you thought it could become.LOL. You did good to pull this off with grace and I know you are happy for your son and his new wife.

hurtinandhealin2560 07/18/2011

My ex and I had to deal with his daughter's marriage less than a month after I kicked him out.

We basically agreed to put on a happy face for the occasion.

I'm glad the wedding went beautifully.

MsTerey 07/18/2011

I am sure you handled all of this well, and that the wedding was very nice. You not only have your church family, but a good relationship with his family and daughters, which is so important. Looking at the glass half full, the ex did not bring the GF to the wedding, and it sounds like it was a chance meeting and not intentional. HUGS

Misred 07/18/2011

As buggs bunny would say "what a maroon!" Your EX has no empathy. I'm sorry that happened. Sounds to me he is just looking for his next "victim." Certainly the last GF figured him out and this new one is just clueless.

Congratulations for marrying one off. I'm glad you have your church family to support you. (((HUGS)))

lycesq 07/18/2011

You did beautifully - family events can be really stressful and you handled it well.

Lynne

VectorForward 07/18/2011

I'm glad it went so well for you, your son and new DIL. I can't imagine the stress you've been under preparing for the wedding and dreading an ex encounter. Hope you are relaxing now and looking forward to your new job/adventure.

deleted_user 07/18/2011

It's great that our have a good spirits during your son's wedding. :D

dairytech 07/18/2011

Wow drtexdi...that is so awesome. You handled that very well. Good for you. Congrats on the wedding...you must be very proud..Big Hugs...Kathy

JaMama 07/18/2011

Congratulations to your family. Sounds like you were very busy. Every encounter with my X makes my stomach turn. I can't imagine how you managed it so well.

You are blessed with your family and church family. Your family is blessed that you are such a mature and sympathetic woman. That couldn't have been easy, but I can't imagine that you would have handled it any other way.

drtexdi 07/19/2011

Thank you all (oh yes I'm moving South. Make that y'all.). I think the reason I'm handling it fine is because I just don't have any feelings towards him. The only time I get upset is when there are family issues. I miss the family unit. I am ready for my new adventure!

deleted_user 07/20/2011

Congratulations. I hope you find a nice new church family waiting for you in WV. If you do have any lonely times, you know how to get in touch with me. I'll be right there if you need me, my friend.

I thought Son#2's graduation from vet school was going to be a Jerry Springer graduation, but all went well. I did not have to face the new wife. She isn't invited to things that are in my boy's control. I was pleasant to my X and suffered not consequences.

Pam

deleted_user 07/20/2011

I am so glad for you. I dread my kids getting married in the near future and having to deal with X in a "happy" event. I am sure it was very stressful, but it sounds like it all went well for you. Congrats for handling it with grace!

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