DO NOT SUCCUMB TO THIS URGE!
You will be wasting your time and your breath and giving him EXACTLY the reaction that he expects. DO NOT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION of knowing he has gotten to you!

You absolutely MUST get your attorney involved in this RIGHT NOW in order to get some DAMAGE CONTROL in place.

If I had figured out a way in the beginning to do what Cowgirl said to do......I wouldn't be where I am today. I mean I did try. But couldn't get a lawyer (no money and legal aide won't help..i dont' qualify) Do as she says if you have any money to do it.
Lawyer Up!

Oh Yorkiegirl, I know how absolutly gut wrenching, painfully difficult it is not to want to CHEW THEM A NEW ASSHOLE EVERYDAY!!!! However Kathi is so right it only falls upon deaf ears and the end result is YOU being upset and even more hurt. Even more ANGRY THEN YOU WERE BEFORE. My stbx actually took out a payday loan on line used my social security number and did an e-signature. HELLO FRAUD!!!! When the place contacted me a few months later threatening to garnish my wages I gave them his number and then called my Attorney and had him send him a letter which started with " In your attempt to commit FRAUD " ect....
This was a huge wake up call for him and he gave ME the total amount owed so I could make sure that this was taken care of. When they are out LIVING THE HIGH LIFE FEELING ALL FREE AND RESPONSIBILITY FREE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. When I was facing eviction becase he hadn't paid rent in 2 months and I was watching my Jeep being repossesed he was out buying new cloths, a new laptop, even a new tv on the loan that my credit got him.

So I just had to be patient and bide my time. Oh it was HELL PURE HELL!!!My son would come back from a visit with his Dad and tell me all the wonderful places he took him and all the toys he bought him ect.. Then there was Me just trying to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I was crusehed that I couldn't do these things NO MONEY AT ALL FOR ANY EXTRAS. So I waited and waited some more and I have a couple backslides along the way... But SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE...... He has since had to sell his new tv and laptop in order to help pay his CHILD and SPOUSAL SUPPORT EVERY MONTH and I hear he is selling his truck and using an old one from his Mommy!!!
As for Austin and I well we enjoy going to the movies on Saturday mornings, Going out for Breakfast after church on Sundays and in just about 6 months we will be on our way to DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE URGE TO CALL HIM HE WILL ONLY BAIT YOU INTO SOMEKIND OF REACTION. That way he can JUSTIFY HIS BEHAVIOR AND ACTIONS AS " SEE THIS IS WHY I LEFT OR THIS IS WHY I'M NOT WITH YOU" Or maybe he is just a sick freak who enjoys seeing that he holds POWER OR CONTROL OVER YOU otherwise you wouldn't react that way.... If you still didn't care....
BE STRONG I HAVE FAITH IN YOU..
BIG BIG HUGS MY FRIEND
T

No contact, he'll use it against you!
So, he's bargaining.... the house will go "up in smoke" if you don't make up the difference in other words! Can't make deals with the devil, well maybe, get renters instead...just an idea. Get him off the deed and anything else that concerns money responsiblity. Get your bull dogs on his tail and see if you can cut ALL financial strings. ...I do mean cut him totally free. Let him bury HIMSELF for that matter. Your goal is to salvage what you can control.

NO CONTACT. He doesn't care and it will hurt you to feel that. It isn't legal to take advantage during the divorce process so, see what your attorney says.

Sorry you are going through this. This is why you are divorcing. Better days are ahead.

Please get to your attorney ASAP and establish temporary orders with the court. This sets up who pays for what and who is responsible for debts while the divorce is pending. I made sure the temp orders read that my ex was responsible for all his own dates after the day I kicked him out.

Also--GOOD ADVICE TO ALL--CONTACT THE CREDIT AGENCIES (Experian, Equifax, and Trans Union). Get a 90 day credit freeze. These are free and that protects you from having stbx's from filling out credit cards and lines of credit using YOUR INFO. You would have to be contacted first. I did this during my separation because my ex had my personal info (name, address, b-day, social security number, etc.). Would have been easy for him to do this.

No, don't contact your stbx--you're wasting your time. DO CONTACT your attorney and take of the leash and bite the crap out of your ex.

Write an e-mail...........but send it to yourself, this allows you to get it out of your system but stays with the no contact part. I wish i had had some of this advice a long time ago with that (no contact) being the most important. even now i get upset if the kids even talk about him.......I just dont want to be drawn into it again i think ((hugs))

Oh and...........what a shit hawk !!!!

Kathi's right - get an attorney. I'm sorry you are going through this. But take comfort in the thoughts that you will get through it. (Hugs)

HURTING: You wrote "..........I just dont want to be drawn into it again i think .."

You KNOW you don't want to be drawn into it again. NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT!

and I LOVE that expression..."shit hawk!" Good one!

Thanks everyone... I'm past the urge..."shit hawk" - that IS a good one, made me laugh..You are right, a reaction is what he wants, so I'm NOT going to give it to him.

My attorney is on it, unfortunately due to some bad advice given early on by the first attorney I consulted - the bleeding is worse than it should have been. Had I found THIS sight earlier on - things would be MUCH different. Those of you in the early stages - LISTEN TO THOSE HERE WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE WAR... they know of which they speak..

It sounds like we are married to the same person! My mortgage hasn't been paid since October 2010 and like you, I was the one managing our finances and maintaining credit scores in the 800's. At this point I don't care about losing the house so much as I am about my now screwed credit. It use to really get me down but now I am working hard at paying my own debts and rebuilding what credit I can.

I'm so happy you were able to be strong and not contact him. Sometimes the urge can be overwhelming...you did great yorkieluvr. Not to worry...he'll get his. Karma's a bitch...Big Hugs..Kathy

goodgirl - that's it EXACTLY!! I was always very proud of our credit rating... also in the 800's... I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way - screw the house - give me my credit rating! LOL

Thanks dairy - I hope I get a front row seat for the karma show... :)