Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
If you have a chance to read my journal tonight you will see that I ran into an old neighbor of ours.
I have not talked to these friends about my husband and I and neither has he. I was hoping I wouldn't have to because we were able to work things out and I think he has avoided them to avoid all the questions they are bound to ask.
I know Marc will tell all the neighbors about this and I don't want my stbx thinking I trashed him to all these friends. They are both of our friends and I don't want Jeff thinking I tried to sabotage his friendship with them - remember how he thought I was "poisoning" our kids minds. I'm sure he'll think that way about this too.
Anyway, should I give my stbx a heads up that i saw Marc and that he may be calling him, or should I just let it alone and let the chips fall where they may. I don't know what to do about this one.
I have not talked to these friends about my husband and I and neither has he. I was hoping I wouldn't have to because we were able to work things out and I think he has avoided them to avoid all the questions they are bound to ask.
I know Marc will tell all the neighbors about this and I don't want my stbx thinking I trashed him to all these friends. They are both of our friends and I don't want Jeff thinking I tried to sabotage his friendship with them - remember how he thought I was "poisoning" our kids minds. I'm sure he'll think that way about this too.
Anyway, should I give my stbx a heads up that i saw Marc and that he may be calling him, or should I just let it alone and let the chips fall where they may. I don't know what to do about this one.
deleted_user
I would just leave it alone. You don't owe him anything. And if you decide to tell your friends anything, that is your business. I would watch what I say because things can sometimes backfire on you.
deleted_user
I didn't read your journal, but I don't think you should give him any kind of "heads up" at all. People ask what's going on in your life and you tell them, and he can do the same. You don't have to run interference for him - he's a big boy (or not).
Chrissy614
It's hard because I am a "fixer" - always trying to make things right for everybody - including my stbx. I'm mostly concerned he will think I told them just to trash him and that's not the case.
deleted_user
Don't think about what he may think. He is going to think what he wants to think and you have no control over that. You are going to run yourself crazy. "Fix" yourself and your kids. You don't owe him anything. Make things right for yourself. As long as you do what you think is best, leave it at that. You are giving him too much of your energy.
deleted_user
As long as you told the truth, no heads up are needed. Why should you protect him? Did he love and honor you? I don't see a until death do I part like HE promised.
deleted_user
I wish I had said it the way sld1 said it. Also, he is going to think you trashed him no matter if you give him a warning or not. True?
deleted_user
You don't need to do anything.
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