I don't know about normal but it happens to me too! I went on Sunday and talked to a few people... made it known that we were separated. I did better with it. I think sometimes it just shows me the difference between where I am now and where I believe I'll be someday.

Oh Chrissy, this is a great post. I went to church a couple of weeks ago and for the FIRST time, I wasn't sad. It was awesome. I almost posted this exact post. So I'm glad you did it.

I haven't been able to go to church or listen to the music since this whole process began. It all made me sad. It made me sad that my X had given up on God which ultimately led him to give up on his morals, his commitment, his family. Going to church and sharing that part of my life reminded me of family. But a couple of weeks ago I went to church and it was all gone. So yes, it is normal.

As for why you are crying. It's probably different for each of us. But I think it's just like talking to a close friend, someone that you know cares about you. So when you are with them, you feel their strength, their compassion, their support. And so maybe that's what you feel at church. It's one place where you feel close to God. So let the tears flow. It's all good. Tears are good! Thanks again for posting this!

I feel the same way too!! I almost never get through the closing hymn without my eyes filling with tears. Yet I am not sure I feel as comfortable in my church as you do. I am Catholic and divorced. NOT a good thing. We, as the perfect family, ...NOT... thatI showed to the world and I wanted everyone to think we were took part in mass almost weekly.Even the Ex for the first 10 years of the marriage was a part of worship. So As a family together for many many years were active in church. My girls have beautiful singing voices and they lead, and still do, the song ministry. I during my whole married life would go to church and to God to find the peace and strength to get thru the week. NOW I do not feel very welcome there in my church. I feel like I have failed. In failing to keep things together in my marriage I feel like I have failed my children and my God. I know many people have told me to find a new church. But it is the Only Catholic church in town and I don't want to have to drive, or take my girls away from one more thing. I did make an appt to see the priest, so maybe I will feel better after that.

Chrissy, it maybe that you "feel" the sermons, that they are written just for you and when you are on your way home you have time to reflect on them, It could be that He is giving you this time to release some of your frustration, helping you heal......He is not doing this to make you hurt without reason..... I think you are right He does have a plan for all of us....

Chrissy, my ex and I were very involved in our church, we lead youth programs and all of that. For about 5 months after we separated, I had a really hard time going to church and at times didn't go at all. I'd go and sob through the whole thing, it brought back so many happy times as a family. I couldn't even sit where we all used to sit each service. The time I went and my ex was doing the readings, I had to leave because I was crying so hard. Your feelings are so normal I think. The important thing for me was that I kept trying to go, even if I didn't always stay for the whole thing and with "time" I'm now able to go, sit in our old spot and enjoy church again. My ex doesn't ever go at all, he says he feels like he's not welcomed there---no wonder after what he did to his family! I'm all for church's welcoming everyone but people are human and after being so involve in the church and then having an affair---it's a hard thing for people to get past.

Keep going Chrissy, you will get so much benefit from it and the sadness will leave you gradually. Love to you.

This is very normal; I started going back to church a few months ago and had the same problem. Church made me think of my stbx, especially when it's time to offer the sign of peace (we always did a small kiss during this). I also struggled seeing all the couples and families together; it made me feel really alone.

My church has an evening mass for the college students and I started going to it; lots of singles, just like me. Made me feel less alone and conspicuous.

I'm starting to enjoy church now. It will get better. And you're right about faith--mine has gotten stronger. I hope God continues to help me heal and find forgiveness for stbx and ow eventually.

I do the same thing too. Maybe it's because of all the memories too - weddings, baptisims, funerals and functions, besides service. I kind of feel a comforting relief that gives me the urge to cry. You know like when you're upset and a good friend calls or you see someone that you've been close too? Just hearing their voice puts you in tears? Making sense?

I do believe - this too will pass in time. But, I'm with you, Chrissy. I feel the same way. Big hugs.

I gave up on my church based on the lack of support I received when I met with the Pastor after she walked out. It was as though he was uncomfortable talking about a pending divorce. In fact as I was struggling a friend at work set up a meeting with his non-denominational pastor, and it was awesome, here was a person that did not even know me and was willing to take the time to talk. I would really like to attend services in this church, however its 45 minutes away. Like some of you our family was involved in many activities at church, and its sad to see this end.

I quit going after this started. I just couldn't talk and everyone would come up and ask where stbx was. OW went there too.

I was out with my priest a few weeks ago and he told me if I have trouble, go during the week or find a new parish. My kids made their first communions and confirmations there. They were all alter servers. We were very involved.

To hell with stbx and OW. I'm going back to MY church. I've done nothing wrong. Let them leave.

I dont know that I will ever go to church again. My faith is shattered. I guess when you hear that you are going to hell enough times you just stop caring whether you do or you dont.

I think what you're going through is normal and you got great replies.

Maybe this is what your body or insides needs right now, to allow yourself to grieve. That's not a bad thing... you were faithful and you have a right to be sad for all your losses. It is unhealthy to ignore grief, as it will catch up with us sooner or later.

I think it's a good thing, actually.
Lots of hugs,
L

I struggle with my faith, too (since my son died) but I remember what it is like to feel that faith and I can't deny some things that happened to me before that have no other explanation. I don't feel it any more but I can't forget what it felt like, so I go and I try and have hope that I will feel that way again.

One of my struggles is that I think God has already forgiven stbx, and my daughter and I still angry and bitter (HURT).

It made me sadder to begin with ... but now it feels safe and comforting. Whatever his plan is for me I can wait for it now.