I'm in the same boat. tired of the fight I settled for less than half. The kids didn't help. They wanted me to stop
'killing him' . That' "he'd worked so hard" for everything, forgetting their mom had to fight the battle of holding it together. Keeping sane til they left at 17. Now I have a low-wage job, making it paycheck to paycheck. Tho I'm glad for the benefits, I am happy to be independent of him despite the struggle. Hang in there, that's all I can say....hang in there, I'll be 61 w/nothing too in about 7 years and I have our youngest son with mental illnesses that complicates things as well. He took him off his coverage as soon as we left. That's another story in itself....

I don't get why your attorney isn't fighting for you. Can you clarify this?

Milmom - I'm having some of the same trouble you are with the kids standing up for their dad. Ugh. This is so hard. He's a monster but I'm supposed to pretend that he isn't for the sake of the kids? What an awful, awful position to be in. But I'm there, right in the middle of it. And yes, it is awful.

Like you, I'm tired of the fight. So, so tired. I've hung on and hung on and hung on and hung on through 3 different attorneys, none of whom, did much more than bill me for their time. The third one is pretty good but young and inexperienced. I'm having to beg her to explain the terminology she's using. She scheduled a temporary hearing, without explaining to me what the purpose of it is at this point in my case. She scheduled it the day after my daughter is having ACL surgery and will be returning to my house to recuperate for a month. I didn't know she was going to do that and asked her if we could change the date! Is this normal? Ugh.

hurtin - I haven't seen any of the three attorneys I've had do anything but talk the talk. Oh, they all sound mean and tough and let's take 'em court but in the end, my H has gotten away with everything he's tried so far, EVERYTHING. Never really did provide all of his expenses, was very vague with what he provided. I questioned the attorneys about it over and over and over again. No one did anything about it! He still has not paid the VISA bill, over $15,000 now. Just wants it to be part of the settlement, thereby shifting his responsibility for supporting me this year to ME. All of the attorneys have asked him to pay repeatedly. He won't even respond to them. They don't do a thing about it. They just keep pushing ahead. I feel like the case is moving on without me. Ugh. Out of pure frustration, I wrote a long email to my attorney this morning with my feelings about his most recent offer, which is a fairly low lump sum. While lump sum is extremely appealing to me, I can't accept a lowball offer. She thought it was pretty good but said she could go either way. But, what I want is for her to FIGHT for what I need. I thought that's what attorneys DID! So far, I haven't seen that. Ugh. Starting to feel really down and really helpless.

I didn't realize that your topic had posted twice. If you are interested, read my response on the other, duplicate topic.

As to your latest attorney not doing anything for you, I think this may be why you are scheduled for a preliminary hearing in a few weeks. My guess is that she is going to present some of the facts of your case (like the $15,000 credit card bill) and ask for some interim/temporary financial relief for you.

If you don't understand the terminology, get on the internet and READ, READ, READ! Most of us long-timers on here encourage the newbies here to do as much research as possible via the many helpful, informative websites that are available. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

My attorney gave me the cutest "honorary law degree" that she drew up when my divorce was finally final. This is one way in which I kept myself empowered during the whole ugly 18 Months of Hell.