You have every right to be angry. But one thing that you have backward, is that he has everything going for him. You have debts and responsibilities and he is foot loose and fancy free. I would not want to walk an inch in his shoes. Nope. He has nothing, you have everything that is good and worthwhile. He is one unhappy camper. Just like Mr. EX still living with mommy is. As for karma, I bet it is already starting to kick in. Hugs and smile. you can do it.

no happy.... I can relate. It really second guess yourself when something breaks or you have no money to do what would had been easily paid if s/he would not had ran off with the money that was a part of the household. Anger side is a powerful thing when this happens. BUT, we are going to keep pressing our way and work with what we have to go one step at a time. Hang in there... they say it will get better!!

thanks knuckle. I guess I just needed to see the light again. My very wise son told me "mom, look at it this way. You may have the bills but we no longer have to put up with the asshole. You are rid of him. No matter what you think you are way better off than him." So I guess I listen and quit doubting my decision. I will get back to that secure feeling again>

And yes, knuckle, he is no doubt putting on airs he is happy but I hope inside he hurts. really really bad

Nohappy, I did some second-guessing. I think it's a normal reaction when odd things go wrong during the first few years. Have faith that the decision you made was the right one for you. I think your son is very wise. You're far better off having to deal with a mower breaking down than having to live with your ex.

love and hugs
kamary

It would creep into my head sometimes soon but like everyone already told you, we are better off without them. I have gotten to where I don't wish someone was around to fix things anymore. I fixed a leaky intake valve on the toilet a couple of weekends ago when I woke to a puddle on the floor. Learn to be self sufficient and those fears of needing someone goes away. (((HUGS)))

oh dont get me wrong...I definitely don't "need" him. I am very self sufficient. I have been for years. If needed fixed, I fixed it. If he fixed it it was used half-assed and wrong. For example, roofing nails to fix a loose molding strip. Need I say more. He was neither a carpenter or handyman. ll. His expertise was???well cheating!! awesome pro at that.
Outside stuff I haven't tackled yet. But I will. My older son came and mowed for me and left his old riding mower too. I ever tell you what "awesome" sons I have. Came home from work and all mowed. I can't tell you how much I love them!!!
It's all a process. This I know. But I know I will prevail. It's still early and I hope to just shrug this off in future.

LOL, mine was very handy and a craftsman. He can make beautiful furniture. The problem was he never got around to doing things. I learned to just drop the subject if I suggested buying some piece of furniture that he himself could make. For instance a headboard. The one we had was UGLY and old. He could make one so ...we never got one. Coffee table....side table, kitchen table....nope he could make it therefore we could not waste money on buying one, however he never made them.

I think everyone does second-guessing, usually when something stressful comes up. I've done it myself. But then I think about all the verbal/emotional abuse and his cheating that I no longer have to put up with, and the second guessing stops.

Sending hugs!

I think that sometimes out pain gets in our head and we "glamorize" what the other person (the one that hurt us) is living like now. I have learned that my glamorization has been inaccurate most of the time.

I have to hold on to that

I can relate :) Second guessing my settlement agreement also-I guess because I had to move into a small rental and he still has a very nice place to live (although it is hers and he didn't earn it). Also taking another job (makes about 4 for me) but I want the money so I can get a better place.

Karma will kick in and we will be better than fine :) Patience my dear!

After the dust has settled, you might realize ALL IS NOT FAIR. Although, he gets to pay support, often for most, the collecting game begins. In the world of court/ business, collecting is most always an issue....it's like drawing blood from a turnip especially from a spouse who has cheated. Cheaters are known to also cheat with their money. In my opinion, I wish this information would be made very clear up front. It will help facilitate one's decision during negotiations whether to take on debt vs take the risk of incoming support. Whichever you've decided, you did your best. After your decision, you learn to stand by it and choke it down. And yes, you do better when you perceive it as your cost to get rid of him. Trust me, if he owes, he'll stay away. That is a good thing!

thanks toby I agree. I know that getting the support will no doubt be an ever ending battle. I figure it is his way of keeping a hold on me. I will do what has to be done through the courts and not through him or his employer. I didn't go in this with blinders. I know him all too well. he will claim no money more often than naught. His true nature. But I am saving what I can from both jobs to build up a nest egg. No where where he can trace though. Too smart a woman for that. He's taught me well in that aspect. How to be sneaky. good job xass!!

Ah heck - there's always going to be things that need to be fixed. I've resigned myself to that fact and not everything is going to work all the time. Your blessed, your sons mowed for you. Those are good boys. As far as that snake - it will be there for a while. It's a process. Feel it, accept it and move on...

Your doing great. Don't second guess anything - it's done you can't go back, so don't make yourself crazy with the what if's. That just keeps you in a place you do not want to be.

You keep going girl!