I had to go to my MIL to pick up my Little Green Machine that she borrowed to get a stain out of the carpet. I called in advance hoping that my stbx would leave before I got there - but nope. I pulled up to the house and just said "oh shit" - almost wanted to leave, but I needed the machine. To top things off, his sister and her husband had just pulled in from up North to visit.

So there I was with his mom, dad, sister, brother in law and him. Although they all hugged and kissed me (except him of course) and they were genuinely happy to see me, I felt out of place among them. Nothing they did, it was just awkward for me.

I stayed about 20 min had a few laughs with them, my BIL commented on how skinny I've gotten. What could I saw in front of everyone about that - I'm on the divorce diet and I don't recommend it. I just gave him the look that said "well what do you expect after what I'm going through". There were moments of uncomfortable silence and that's when I took my cue to leave.

Once again hugs and kisses all around (except him of course). I actually almost forgot to even say bye to him, but since it was the polite thing to do, I said it.

I have been purposely trying to avoid talking to him in person or on the phone and definately trying to avoid seeing him. I've found that either of these two things sets me off on a crying jag again. If I can limit it to email and texting, I'm ok. I wanted to cry on the way home for the loss of my extended family, but I was able to keep it in check. Even seeing him, although it was hard, I didn't dwell on it all day.

I always wonder what goes through his mind when he sees me. I feel like I'm looking better than ever these days and he's even commented on it to friends, so what does he think about when he see's me like this. Especially around his family. Does he stop and think about how this has affected EVERYBODY!!!! How do you think they felt today with me and him there at the same time, but not together. That had to feel awkward to them too. But he seemed to breeze right through it. Just keep cleaning his hunting equipment - that starts in 2 weeks.

Speaking of this - if he does indeed have a new love interest, lets see how she likes being left alone every single weekend because he's gone hunting. And after work too. From Oct 1 until Jan 4 he'll be gone 80% of the time. Also during that time, he'll take 1-2 weeks vacation and be gone out of state the whole time. We'll see how she likes that - I put up with it for 20 years - fool that I am, but I think it will grow old pretty darn quick.

Anyway, I survived the unplanned meeting and I didn't even lose it afterwards (this time).