Thanks Cowgirl. Your article confirms my story. I've come to accept the how's and why's, the so needed explainations. It is indeed the spouse having serious character defects and defenses, I can "move on" and look to the future. My anger is the fuel needed to realize that this spouse lost the connection...so be it. This knowledge, the learning experience, is the fuel needed to actively set boundries, principles, dropping the illusions, and knocking the spouse off the pedestal.

The phrase "Don't allow or accept this crap" is big time. I am so glad, in the end of the ending, I was woman enough to say "See ya" and " I am checking you out of my life" and " hit the road". It takes maturity, guts, and plenty amour. Thanks, you're a sweetheart to us all.

Cowgirl: I should never have looked at the site because I just spent over an hour there and I have so much to do today. It's really good though.

Now I have to get busy. Lot's of yard work to do. Hugs.

This was great. Thanks for this. I haven't been on in awhile but it's always so informative when I do.

Wow, it was difficult reading all those stories--just dredged up all the anxiety and pain I felt when I first found that motel card in ex's wallet.

So shocking how similar the stories are---and so totally sad.

The best thing all of us can do is move on from these low-life losers and live the best life we can.

Great site, Kath. I didn't know it existed. I'll be sure to pass it on. There sure are many that would benefit from all the info and support. Thanks for sharing.