I don't think there is any stigma attached to the word "divorced." But I do have a problem with the boxes you always have to check off on forms that only give you those choices! I took issue with it when I went to a new doctor for a consultation recently. I said to the receptionist: "Yes, I am divorced but I am also single." She agreed that it is an archaic term and that I should feel free to check the "single" box if that's what I wanted.

To be honest, at age 58, I would RATHER not have someone make the judgement that I was 59 and STILL SINGLE (as in NEVER MARRIED) because that, to me, has it's own stigma (i.e., old maid, spinster, etc.) It's all just words, really. I wouldn't worry about it.

If you are divorced, you are divorced. That means you were once married... and you will encounter boxes that are defined, single or divorced your entire life. In employment, insurance, loans, and your income taxes. If you are dating and someone asks if you are divorced, my answer is yes, and if they ask more, it is are you seeing anyone or committed you can be "single"! Sometimes it takes time to get used to saying, I am divorced! I liked being married, but now I often said I paid a lot of money to be able to say that I am divorced. It takes time.

As to stigma. I would never ever want to be defined as being married for 28 years as some kind of title, It is what it is.. and if that is the sum total of who I was for that whole time frame, that is sad. We are all much more than "married, single, divorced. widow" whatever.... As to archaic, old maid, and spinster are not used in society anymore, are considered not PC and an insult to all women who have had wonderful lives without being married, by choice or otherwise. That smacks of holier than thou of any one that is married is better than those did not, and very judgemental. It is not just words, it is insulting. To me it is the same as people that think divorced means failure or loser.... I stand by the term divorced, for me, because that is what my box is!

I was taught that never married women were regarded as "career women"....look at Orpra Winfrey. There may not be any truth in the STIGMA label but I'll tell you one thing, a MAN never married. ....watch out ! And that my dear friends, carries weigh concerning a lack of a certain deficiency of character.

Me, I regard myself as "single again"!

I'm divorced and proud of it. It took a long time and a lot of money to get me free of "him again".I don't give it a second thought when I check divorced on any formal papers that need to be filled in.

I have daughters and a granddaughter so I'm divorced. It's just a word that defines my status but doesn't say much about me. I'm more than just divorced and like tobywinn sometimes I consider myself "single again".

I just wonder, then, WHY you have to check a box AT ALL if "divorced" doesn't make any difference from "single." It's all archaic as far as I'm concerned. Time to do away with those boxes altogether! I don't think it's politically correct to be asked!

I'm divorced, although I agree with Cowgirl Kathi--I don't think it's anyone's business. Those boxes should be abolished.

I could read your post all night long. The best advise and encouragement can be found here. There are so many topics that I havent even thought about yet or even run across. Thanks again I feel like you all are preparing me for what is to come.

I kept my married name. These days everything is computerized, and I was asked in two different doctor's offices if I legally changed my name from the name I was born with, since I checked "single" on the information forms. Since then I've been checking "divorced" and not getting any more questions about my name.
I agree that my marital status is none of their business!

It doesn't bother me one way or the other. The truth is I'd rather be divorced than married to my ex :)

I like single because it doesn't have anything to do with him.

I confess I didn't like the idea of saying I was divorced because it felt like admitting a failure. For me it was a failure, inevitable but still a failure of mine to recognize that he wasn't who he appeared to be at first. Now I have come to terms with that and divorced doesn't have the same sting. I am glad to be divorced from him. I am happily single.

I see people in my office and have to ask which box they want ticked. Most of the women say separated or divorced and almost ALL of the men say single. I've been doing this for so long now that I know what they're going to say. It has become a bit of a game and I should stop that cause one day I am going to laugh out loud.

But seriously I think I agree with the men. I prefer to be single. Divorce makes me have to think about that idiot. Single is more mysterious. If they're keen or interested enough they will find the story of you.