Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
If you haven't done so already, go to www.divorcesource.com and look up divorce laws. Then choose your state. Your free consult will be more beneficial if you already know what the laws are in your state!
Know your income, your H's income, what your debts are and what your assets are. This is ALL DEBT which is in BOTH NAMES. But it's also a good idea to know what HIS debts are (i.e., if he has a credit card in his name only).
If you live in an equitable distribution state, you may get more than 50% of the marital assets, but chances are, you will have to fight for that. Most all courts prefer that the divorcing couple work out the financial settlement on their own, but worst case scenario, living in an E.D. state is advantageous, especially in cases where your incomes are disparate.
Since you've only been married for 15 years, Alimony or Spousal Support probably isn't going to happen for you (unless he makes squadoos more than you do) or unless you are disabled in some way.
The fact that you have no children is a big plus. One less thing to have to deal with.
The attorney will also probably want to know about any infidelities, abuses or other breaches in the marriage. In other words, whether or not you intend to file WITH GROUNDS or not.
Good luck! And let us know how it goes.
Good luck
This is what I tell the clients and people I help to bring when they meet with a lawyer for a free consult. Copies of the last 3 years of your federal and state income taxes. If you own a house or property, a general idea what you owe and what equity you have in it, your monthly payment. A general idea of your debt. Most of the above will be on your tax returns, other than your equity and other debt. What your pay is and what his is. I recommend that you jot this down on paper for you to bring. I suggest to all my clients that they should have a therapist if they need one and remind them a lawyer is not a therapist, he/she is there for the legal side. Tell the lawyer you know that and will not be using him for emotional support.
A good lawyer will tell you his hourly rate, a rough idea how long this may take and what it may cost. He will tell you what he expects from you on your end which is usually providing paperwork, showing up when asked etc, and the ablity to pay.
Good luck and remember you can set up more than one free consult with other lawyers and shop around. I tell my clients that it is important that you feel comfortable with whomever represents you, but the real indicator is if you feel that he/she will get you want you need in the divorce. You should be somewhat familar with the basics of divorce in your state, lots of online sources for that. I tell my clients this, all divorces are similar, but none are exactly the same, they are all individual. Listen to your lawyer, and politely listen to everyone else, and do what your lawyer asks! Best to you!