just saw your post, write all you want here and I will try to help you.

k first off you need to read my journal post for tonight. long one. lol

my issue right now......i am lost. I am strong but lost. i don't love or want to be near ex cause every time we've had court date he has been an asshole. last time when I thot it would be THE DAY my oldest son went with me. (i have 2 -24 &26) along with his pregnant wife. ex NEVER looked at him. NEVER tried to talk to either. My son was so ticked off. and hurt. both were. and after the little revelation about my atty (which ex and his atty knew for last year+) he had nerve to laugh outside the courtroom.

Hi nohappy.

I read your journal. He's being a nasty piece of work. I'd be feeling angry and worried, too. You're very lucky that you have the support of your two boys.

I hope the judge assigns you a lawyer before too much more time goes by. I guess June is a fair way away and the judge will make sure you have one well before court date.

I guess you may feel a bit like I did - like you're sailing in uncharted waters, the pirates are out there, and you don't know where the next gunshot is coming from? Take deep breaths. Write down everything you can think of that you will have to do when your lawyer calls - what he'll need to see, what he'll need copies of, write a short presis of your history so he doesn't have to ask and he'll have it all in front of him. I often find the best answer to worry is to have a plan, so make yourself a plan and do something (anything) that will either contribute to your court battle, or that will help you relax and rebalance.

Go No Contact, too. That means no thinking about him either! Concentrate on keeping your mind focused on a successful outcome at court and moving on.

It's hard, I know.

love and hgus
kamary

No Contact is definitely what you need to do. Kinda like cutting out a cancer.

My X keeps getting meaner and meaner-he's also a delusional asshole-doesn't care at all about anything but himself.

Know that we are here for you.

Lori

Hi Nohappy,
I know that I’m a male ,but my x wife did the same to me . (Doesn't matter ...Female /Male )
Lied ,cheated, hid money. Luckily someone in my daughter in laws family told
me . Make sure that you take care of yourself. Although at that time my emotions
Controlled many of my decisions I was able to see through that and stuck to my guns.
At the time I didn’t care about money or anything . But you see……….. She didn’t care about me or my well being either. At the time I was also sick ……….. Ya, had a heart attack and four stints a little under a year earlier . And three days before she told me she was leaving (and jumped on a plane that night to see her old boyfriend ) my old Viet Nam Army buddy died. (we were suppose to meet again after 40years ,but he died ) …………….. So, I had all that stuff going on. I went to the hospital as an out patient for depression and anxiety for 8 weeks . 5 days a week . 6 hrs a day . BWT it was the best hospital and they helped me . . Well … now comes another problem .. If you know nothing about PTSD . All my divorce problems triggered an old Viet Nam PTDS.
Sorry .getting off track here …………………… .
So , what I’m telling you is take care of yourself during these hard times.. Stick to your guns when negotiating $$$$$. Later on (Like me now) I’m so happy that I didn’t give in …
It was so hard to do because I still loved her …. Heck we were together for 38 years…. I never wanted to hurt her money wise……..
Well here it is seven years later………… and I’m so glad that I did ..stick to my guns ….
What’s right is right ………….. You to deserve to be taking care of……. You were a family …. You both were one …. Sooooooooooooooo, everything gets split……… He made more ….. He gives more ….
Make sure that your Lawyer is doing her/his job and you tell her/him that you want everything that you are
entitled to. If he bought that motor cycle after a court order then he will have to face the judge on that .Oh, one more thing….. Try to negotiate your health insurance. It’s a big cost . If you were on his policy then he needs to pay yours for a while…………
Ok…………. Good luck to you……….. Things will get better……….. Takes time .
BUT DON”T GIVE IN NOW !!!!!!!
Timeman

thanks all. I am doing all the above. trust me i will get what I am entitled to if I can do it. I am doing all by the books and even HIS daughters are telling me to take him for whatever I can get. lol. go figure! My issue is I don't know if it is just me and my nature but it bothers me how much he is hurting everyone. I know he's an ass,. a MAJOR ass. but both my sons hurt (Mama knows all) and even his daughters say he never returns calls. been weeks since they've heard from him. Told them that usually means he has found another "family" to concentrate on. I don't wish him dead or ill . that's not me. I just want what I am entitled to after all this time. we go to court in june. well july 7 would of been 29 yrs! and little things bug me. not having him to celebrate the new grandson is one. I know I know it's his loss not mine. I have all this to look forward to. babies, marriages etc etc. but right now it's gonna b me cause he has made me leery of getting involved again. but then again I hate being alone. flip of the coin i guess.