I would not meet with him to discus a divorce settlement at all, at the very least not without speaking to your attorney.

If your are not comfortable with it all for any reason no matter how small then just let a attorney handle it.

I agree. Do not meet to talk about anything to do with divorce, division of assets, spousal support or child support at least until you have talked to your attorney. I'm an attorney, not a family law attorney, but I can tell you that the laws about these things vary considerably from state to state. Find out what you might be entitled to before any discussions with your husband -- you need to know your rights before you start agreeing to accept anything less. If you have a problem with telling him that you dont want to discuss things yet, blame it on your attorney. (Also, make sure your attorney gets all the information s/he needs about your assets, including future assets like pension rights, as well as debts and liabilities, as well as any other information relevant to spousal support )

Thanks for the advice. I think I will call my attorney tomorrow and go over all of this with him. I know the ex just wants to see if I'm going to go for spousal support. My attorney has told me that I would probably get it based on our incomes, the length of our marriage and the extenuating cicumstances with our son.

I would not discuss any type of settlement with him, AND DEFINITELY DO NOT SIGN ANY DOCUMENT HE MIGHT SHOW TO YOU WITHOUT YOUR ATTORNEY'S ADVICE.

I would not reveal too much to him at all about your strategy. Keep info close to the vest. In fact, I don't think I would meet with him at all. If he is a narcissist as you say, he will try to manipulate you or bully you into an agreement.

Sending hugs! Stay strong.

I don't see any reason to meet with him and the only reason why he would meet with you would be to get you to agree to give up something that you are entitled to. I would cancel that meeting immediately. Very often, the stbx (soon to be Ex) uses our remaining feelings against us and our desire just to see them.

I have to agree with the others. Since my divorce settlement was simple and straight forward we negotiated the settlement and my lawyer looked it over...some adjustments were made then we both signed off. I would not recommend you do this unless you are aware of all your rights and he was being co-operative and fair. Big Hugs...Kathy

Good luck healing, I am in the same spot now, just starting negotiations. I have been off work (let go) and dealing with depression, which my stbx KNOWS as I was taking meds and crying alot last winter/spring when he was still pretending and living here. Anyway, his lawyer will not accept my doctor note that I can't work and wants my medical records....you definitely should not make ANY moves without legal advice. He knows you are vulnerable and will try to manipulate him. DON'T talk to him, try to go through your atty ONLY. This will make him crazy and also show him that he needs to take you seriously.

Don't expect it to be easy or quick..it's an emotional and financial hurtle getting through this stage...Best!

HealingT and immine:
When I saw the title of this discussion "Need Advice About Negotiating" my FIRST thought was this -- you CANNOT negotiate with a TERRORIST. Then I read all the earlier responses and my thought was the same. This man (these men) are TERRORISTS and trying to negotiate with them will only result in a higher level of frustration and upset on your part.
HealingT - You have an attorney. Let him/her do your talking FOR you. Cancel the meeting with your stbx immediately. No need to explain why.
For 9 long and agonizing months after I put my now-X out of here, my attorney attempted all manner of negotiations. The STICKING POINT was the issue of ALIMONY. He simply refused to acknowledge the fact that given the length of our marriage, the disparity in our incomes and income potential, our ages, and the circumstances by which our marriage fell apart it was a GIVEN that, if forced into court, the judge was going to give me a larger percentage of our marital assets AND ALIMONY. At the 9 month mark, I had finally had enough of his crap and took the leash off my attorney and filed for divorce myself.
If I had it to do all over again, I would have filed the minute he moved out and saved myself hundreds of dollars in attorney fees and many sleepless nights.
Take the advice given here -- do NOT discuss any of this with your stbx and absolutely DO NOT agree to ANYTHING either verbally or in writing UNLESS it goes through YOUR ATTORNEY.

"him again" was co-operative too. He liked to maintain his good guy poor me image. I got everything we had agreed on two days after I had him served. Including tax free alimony and a few extra perks my atty. suggested. My atty. sensed that it would go smoother if I made the settlement suggestions than going strictly through him. At any time I had a problem I knew I could turn it over to the attys. I had always handled the business part of our marriage so I was satisfied that I new where the biggest part of the money was.

You do need to think about what you want and what you will let go of if your atty has to negoiate a settlement for you. Don't let the ex know what you must have and what you will give up to get what you really want. You sit down and make a must have list and a I can do without this list. That way you can have the appearance of giving up something to get what you really want.

Talk to your atty. and follow what he tells you to do. I hope your settlement is easy as mine was. Not all of them are difficult and you will know as soon as alimony is mentioned if he is gong to be difficult.

I think things are different here as I live in the UK. However, I doubt whether any court would agree to you not receiving alimony, especially when you have your son to care for.
My ex also asked to meet me 'to build a shared vision of what we want for our children in the future'. What crap! I didn't meet him.