You need to get advice and then choose the Atty that will fit your needs. I'm assuming you are a legal resident of NC waiting for one year separation to file. You MIGHT be able to file for temp support while you wait out the one year. You just need to decide if you would be better off with a NC divorce or letting him file in CA. I suspect it might be better for you to file in NC.

See if you can get an Atty who gives a free consultation.What you hear from him will give you questions to ask the next Atty. I talked to four attys before I chose the last one I talked to. I chose him because he was the only Atty who could tell me how to serve my ex when he worked in North Africa. You will know when you have the right one.

Did you move too? I don't understand why you have to wait a year.
I needed a lawyer for something a couple of years ago and looked through the state bar directory. I ended up using a referral though

http://www.ncbar.com/public/findalawyer.asp

My husband moved to CA to be with his gf. Prior to that we have resided in NC since 1983. I'm still here.

I'm in SC. Some of NC's laws are the same as mine. I filed on his adultery and could have been divorced in 90 days. My Atty immediately within two days of filing asked for temp support. My Atty had me change the filing to one year separation. The ex still had to pay me and that extra time allowed me to get ready to be on my own. Only a NC Atty can tell you exactly what you can get and receive. Google the divorce laws for your state and start writing down questions to ask the attys you see.

If NC is an equitable distribution state and his income is higher than yours you should file before him. CA is a no fault state. Nearly everything split by half. Another question for an Atty.

@Misred. Her state like mine is fault based. I'm sure she could probably file on his adultery. There are several other ways or she has to live separated from her husband for one year to receive her divorce. I'm still sick so I didn't do a lot of research on this.

I agree with Trisha, meet with a lawyer in order to get those answers. Write down what they tell you. If you can manage to take a friend, and extra pair of ears can be helpful. In my opinion, I would want to file where I live to avoid travel and paying a lawyer to travel.

I'm guessing with the grounds of adultery, you would need proof.

FoolMe:
You can file IMMEDIATELY for a LEGAL SEPARATION in North Carolina and that's what I would do. It is my understanding that at the same time you file, you can petition the court for an order of temporary support. Follow this link to the specific separation info on divorcesource.com:

http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/northcarolina/north-carolina-legal-separation-5334.shtml

The OTHER reason I urge you to file immediately is because it is much better to be the Petitioner than the Respondent and since he has moved far, far away, the burden of paying for legal representation at a distance will fall on HIM -- not you. California prices are always much higher than in the east (with the exception of New York and Washington, DC).

One other point -- why not file for ABANDONMENT (or desertion) or whatever it's called in North Carolina? It's a lot easier to prove than adultery and it's pretty obvious that he's gone and has no intention of returning.

Just to clarify something in my previous response...you can FILE for divorce now, but in most cases, you will have to wait the mandatory period to get a final divorce. In most cases where there are assets and real property, it can take that long to GET the financial stuff hammered out.

Always better to be PRO-active than RE-active. Follow the instructions the others gave you as to how to find a good divorce attorney. Make sure they would be willing to litigate, too, if it comes to that.

Get busy, girl, and remember: this is the biggest business deal of your life. Don't shortchange yourself! Sending all the tenacity I can from this distance. xoxox

Okay, I read another post from you and it looks like he doesn't work???? Spent money on flying her out to see him???? If I were you, I wouldn't wait for him to file. I would get busy and do whatever necessary to extricate him from my life. If he has no money, I doubt he will spend anything to file. According to you, he's been planning this for some time so why play into that?

Like SC the one that cheated will never receive alimony so you need to file before he does to protect what assets you may have.

NC is an equitable distribution state and we are both on SS (his starts in April). My SS is a little higher than his but he has a pension that makes his income higher overall. Been cleaning out closets and putting things in piles, his, mine and auction.

Pension...yeah...you need a lawyer.

I think the best way to get a reputable attorney is word of mouth. I asked my counselor for a referral and she gave me the name of one. I also asked around among friends, and got the same name. I guess he had a good reputation. I decided to have an initial consultation and decided to go with him. I'm glad I did. He was very good and obtained a fair settlement for me.