Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Through Gods grace we got to spend Christmas Eve together as a "blended family" and I made peace with his gf.
Then he had a stroke Christmas morning and passed away today. My poor stepdaughter has been in ICU every day and my heart hurts for her and all of my children.
My stepdaughter asked me if he had a DNR and I was able to contact a lawyer who said he was going to meet with him this week to draw up a power of attorney.
Now the fiancée, yes they were getting married this week, is feeling left out and got in it with my stepdaughter right after he died in the hospital room about his viewing and where it would be. And told my stepdaughter she is the beneficiary on his life insurance and retirement benefit.
My daughter diffused it and my Xs son, daughter and fiancée are meeting tomorrow at the funeral parlor where the fiancée will pick out the coffin and have the final say with the kids approval.
I am staying in the background and will attend the viewing/funeral and will sit where they want me to be seated.
Even after his death the fiancée is only thinking about herself. I guess she wants what she feels is owed her for being left with their son. She is the beneficiary on his life insurance and retirement fund. So sad that our kids are left out in the end. But I guess that's the way he wanted it maybe out of guilt, who knows.
I hope he found happiness with her but all she got was illness and hospital days for most of the time they were (almost 3 years)together.
As for me, he will always be in my heart, he was in my life since I was 27 until I was 63. I think I would have been more upset if they had gotten married. For me, it's easier this way. I guess that is selfish on my part because my family lost their father and grandfather.
So, this is how the New Year begins....
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
It will all be over after next Weds, just keep me in your prayers that I don't throttle her at the service!!
The girls made a video which caused me, and my brother to later leave the room having major meltdowns.
I have never seen my brother completely lose it like this before, not even when our parent died. He never really reconciled with him and I think that was part of it.
I did get up and share at the funeral looking at his fiancé and said I know some people don't want me here. Mike and I were married for 31 years and I am here to honor our marriage, it is possible for two women to love the same man and for one man to love two women in their life, and then I sat back down.
My family was attaboy me except my stepdaughter and she sat with her half brother at the fiancé table.
Anyway, I did my part and now to begin again as some people said it will free me completely from him as he is gone forever. But the grief overwhelms at times and takes me over and I know I have to go through this again.
Prayers appreciated. Thank you for being here with your support.
I hope the days get easier soon.
Take good care of yourself, my dear and know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.