Hi all - remember last week when I said I was going to try a new approach and let the husband come and visit with casual conversation - no arguments, no talking about us, just a relaxing visit. I am hoping that he'll come to see it wasn't as bad as he's made it out to be and maybe he'll start thinking about possibly coming back home. Anyway today he stopped by twice with his (married) friend Ross. The first time he needed fishing gear for a tournament tomorrow that they are fishing. He came inside and we talked in general about my trip to FL with the kids. I told him that our son needed the suitcase he took with him and he replied "then what will I use". I then said, "if you came back home, your wouldn't need a suitcase". And he said, "I am coming back home, tomorrow". Cus he's staying at our house while were gone for the week. Anyway, I didn't find that funny. While he went outside, I talked to his buddy and asked him to help Jeff find his way back home. Family is everything and Ross is the epitome of a family man. He even said it's hard for him because he cannot relate to what Jeff is doing. When they left, my husband gave me a big hug and told me to have a good and safe trip. That was the first visit. The second visit is when he brought our sons suitcase. Ross was still with him and I invited them to have spaghetti that I just made. So here is my husband who doesn't live here anymore in my kitchen, sitting at my table, eating food I made. How wierd is that? Then he thanked me for dinner and left. I tell you it was hard. He tried to talk to the kids and tell them to have a good trip, but they of course didn't talk to him. Now all of this is part of my new approach. Being nice, casual conversation, seeing that I'm not as bad as he's built it up to be. I even told him I made extra spaghetti for him while he's here, I marinated 2 chops for him and made a batch of my famous potato salad - all of which he loves. I sprayed a splash of my perfume on his side of the bed and left my negligee (sp?) out in the open. I'm hoping all these little reminders will kick his memory in high gear of what he's left behind. That on top of being alone for a week for the first time. This is my last ditch effort to "wake him up" to the reality of divorce. It's all I can do and I pray that it has some effect on him. Sorry to take up so much space - I'm just hoping this effort works. Wish me luck.
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