what an ====

I agree. He's an A**.

Exactly my thoughts too! Thank you both very much for confirming it. Forgot to say, he cried the whole conversation. Can't believe a woman would be so "desperate" to have a husband to marry that low life scum. Ugh! Guaranteed he would come back to me if I let him. I was damn good to him. Now I don't have time for him. I have actively finding things to find "my"happiness. Not expecting someone else to do it for me:)

He's got some nerve calling you for relationship advice. What a jerk!
I know that any time I have any contact with my ex, I end up being angry and upset.
I'd like to encourage you to go NO CONTACT with your ex.
Your son is 18, so you don't have to speak to the ex about custody or visitation.
Your son can decide if he wants a relationship with his father or not.
If your ex calls you or texts you, ignore him.
It sounds like your ex is perfectly capable of screwing up his life without any help.
It doesn't sound like he would listen to any advice from you.
He threw away his marriage to you by having the affair.
I can't imagine he'll be faithful to another woman, but that is no longer your problem.
Don't let him suck you into his drama.
I know how hard it is to detach yourself from your ex, because I'm trying to do that with my ex.
Any time I"m tempted to communicate with my ex, I post here instead.
I get lots of support from the members here, and I'm better at stopping myself from falling into that trap.
Let us help you stay strong.
NO CONTACT is the only way to go!
((hugs))

Oh yes, I have thoughts but I am too proper to say them! Lol. NO CONTACT. Don't allow him to use you like this. I can say this because I got sucked in just like you. I found myself being his listening ear. How ridiculous. CowgirlKathi and a few others let me know how I should cut him off. Yep, I took their advice and now I am healing. You won't heal until that communication is broken. You can't be his confidant. And if anything, those of us who made 3x as much as our exes were no less susceptible to our exes having affairs. My ex actually pointed it out as the main reason he went looking. It seems that I didn't need him (according to him).

((((HUGS))))...jerk! But do take solace in knowing that if he does do this...marry for convenience...it wont be long until he is miserable. Chances are he wont be able to afford another divorce...lol...Big Hugs...Kathy

I agree with the others on the no contact rule. Let him know the marriage has been over a long time and what he does in his personal life is not your concern.

Your son is old enough to make his own choices concerning his father and any relationships he may enter into.

Continue focusing on what makes YOU happy.

Hugs!

I am rolling my eyes in disbelief that your X would be so stupid as to ask you for this kind of advice. Were I in your shoes, I would have probably answered the question with my own; that being "And who do you think I am? Ann Landers? GET LOST!" What an asshole!

Seriously!

1. Why are you talking to him about anything other than your children and business related to that? 2. Tell him that you are not going to listen to this! He is used to you being his sounding board leftover from the relationship and THINKS this is going to continue as a service to him... and I suspect this is the A**hole way of telling you without directly telling you, that he is thinking of getting married! AND he probably wants you to break this news to your sons! What a immature jerk..

And though I get how easy it is to do this, you have to think why am I letting him do this by particpating. People can't play games with you if you take yourself out of the game! No more conversations about the personal with the ex.. set that boundary.

Focus on you and your life and making it the best you can be! A BIG HUG!

focus on you and your son. The next time tell him to call Dr. Phil. and just hang up. NO CONTACT in any manner whatsoever. Your son is a man. If he needs to talk to his father, he can call himself. Stay focused on you and you only.

Holy cow!!! Maybe I'm too giddy from my new divorce status, but I couldn't help but laugh that your EX!!!!! wanted advice. Yes, he's a jerk. Absolutely. Had I been in your shoes, I may have listened, too, out of complete shock!!!! What a dork. And I would feel smug that he is so "tortured," lol. I read somewhere that men tend (generally) to be all about providing for the woman in their life. It seems it is killing him that he can't. That will eat away at him to no end, lol. I'm glad you are done with him, I'm sure, as others said, that your kids can deal with his drama on their own, and most of all, that you are doing fine without him :) Big hugs and thanks for sharing. I think it would be really rewarding to see my ex groveling and crying to me about love advice, lol. I would be Ms. Smug for sure. I think the end of the conversation would be me telling him to freaking man up for a change.., oh, and that Karma was calling so I needed to go. ha ha.

How can I ever thank all of you for some great insight? You are all so very awesome and I had some great chuckles. So glad I have individuals that can relate and understand my pain and stupidity of my ex husband. I have always believed in marriage and what it stood for. I am thankful everyday for the courage and stamina to get away from this overbearing, ungrateful IMP! I did have to giggle when he asked how long a person should date before they get married. Not once did he state he loved her. It was all about how much money she made. Sounds like a match made it heaven. She is desperate to have a husband and he is desperate to find someone to help him pay his mortgage! Thankful everyday for the courage to get away from the belittling, emotional abuse. All I can say to her, is good luck and you must be desperate! Thanks again to all who has commented. It means so much to have your words of wisdom. Believe me! Boundaries will be set starting today! Thank you bunches

Why is it when they start having problems they want to come ask us, I dont understand this, my husband who is the one who left and wants the divorce wants to call me for advice and vent his frustration, he didnt want me anymore he wanted to be free to do his own thing, with someone else. He needs to be talking to her not me. I agree with the rest he is a big A! Tell him to go cry on someone elses shoulder , that he lost his privaledges with u along time ago... This is something hear lately that i have been learning to do alot of.. my stbx has been trying to get in my good graces because of a hearing coming up.. I know what he is doing and learning to not even respond to anything anymore.

They want to come to us, because for many of us, we were the voice of reason for some of these immature and social idiots for years! After all, my attorney told my ex, that you would never be where you are in life without Ms Terey's brains, money and insight! I put him through school when we first married, and he had nothing when he met me, and I mean nothing. I never ever brought that up or held it against him, UNTIL, he started whining about it was all his money during the divorce and he earned it all! For some exes, and since I have no contact with my ex since the day we divorced, (other than some rumbling from friends and family) they do miss us on some level and some of them even realized they made a mistake... TOO BAD! TOO late now, as I am fine and fabulous! DO NOT LET THEM enable you under the guise of "advice they need"! For some of these men, and use that term loosely, they want to let us know on some level, they are making it without us, and look they are desirable and someone wants them! I can never figure out why we would care, because as an ex, we know them and their behavior that is not going to change! AND good luck with a new woman. At our age, there are not too many women who are going to open a checkbook and pay it all for a new man. After all, most of us women here are at least in our 40's.. if you do pay for everything for a man, call me and I will talk some sense into you!

I mentioned my client/friend who moved out of state and is getting divorced on a rebound STUPID 2 year marriage. She was married 29 years to the first, met this one 6 months after that divorce and now after spouse 2 took most of her 401k money for a "business" is e-mailing her and telling her, don't worry I am dating already.. and wants her advice on dating. I mean really.... I said do not answer. Do not pick up! No texting, no email.. nothing! So whether it is 30 years or 2, some of these men are just clueless!