Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I just finished reading yet ANOTHER great book ... this one is called:
101 THINGS I LEARNED AFTER MY DIVORCE
(by Tomi Tuel)
The entire book is good, but my FAVORITE part is Chapter 4 - The CRAP METER...and here's an excerpt to whet your appetite:
"We all put up with a certain level of crap in our relationships. Wouldn't it be great if we cold put crap on a scale and give it a standard unit of measure so that when we talk about how really crappy something is it will be more relative. We could say, "Hey that's a bunch of crap" and it would be right there in black and white.
People could use the crap meter as a standard for ending relationships. If you pull a 10 on the meter its an automatic end to the relationship. You get a 10 -- you're OUT! When your spouse stays out all night and doesn't call, that's a 10! When your spouse pinches your fat and asks, 'Can you pinch an inch?' that's maybe a 2. It's crap, but you put up with it...
A crap meter is something we all have. For some it's instinctual, for others it's developed over time. Being in tune with your crap meter is huge because when crap happens you need to be ready. The saying "choose your battles wisely" is nebulous for someone who has no scale for the tolerance of crap. It's important to know how much crap you are willing to put up with in a relationship."
That's just a teaser to get you interested in this book. I hope you all will order a copy (it's a paperback and a really entertaining and enlightening read) and is available on amazon.com. My copy is a borrowed one, but I plan to buy my own copy so that I can read it again (with highlighter in hand).
Hugs to you all!
101 THINGS I LEARNED AFTER MY DIVORCE
(by Tomi Tuel)
The entire book is good, but my FAVORITE part is Chapter 4 - The CRAP METER...and here's an excerpt to whet your appetite:
"We all put up with a certain level of crap in our relationships. Wouldn't it be great if we cold put crap on a scale and give it a standard unit of measure so that when we talk about how really crappy something is it will be more relative. We could say, "Hey that's a bunch of crap" and it would be right there in black and white.
People could use the crap meter as a standard for ending relationships. If you pull a 10 on the meter its an automatic end to the relationship. You get a 10 -- you're OUT! When your spouse stays out all night and doesn't call, that's a 10! When your spouse pinches your fat and asks, 'Can you pinch an inch?' that's maybe a 2. It's crap, but you put up with it...
A crap meter is something we all have. For some it's instinctual, for others it's developed over time. Being in tune with your crap meter is huge because when crap happens you need to be ready. The saying "choose your battles wisely" is nebulous for someone who has no scale for the tolerance of crap. It's important to know how much crap you are willing to put up with in a relationship."
That's just a teaser to get you interested in this book. I hope you all will order a copy (it's a paperback and a really entertaining and enlightening read) and is available on amazon.com. My copy is a borrowed one, but I plan to buy my own copy so that I can read it again (with highlighter in hand).
Hugs to you all!
By the way, I have ordered several of your other recomendations - and both full seasons of Downton Abbey for the 'sofa' days! - and I pick them up this week. One of the books (title escapes me) is the book by the author who lead the retreat you were just on..oh just remembered, is it Runaway Husband? Vicky Stark I think.
So glad to have you back on DAT!
The recap of the Sedona Retreat is contained in my new Journal entry from yesterday (March 26th) together with a link to the photos that Vikki took of us all week.
Runaway Husbands covered a lot of good material, but 101 Things I Learned AFTER My Divorce is a must-read, as well. ESPECIALLY the chapter on the "Crap Meter"!
You will really ENJOY reading this book! It is written in a very conversational voice and I was cracking up when I read the chapter on the Crap Meter! Let me know how it works for ya!