Friends don't let friends meet men..... LOL
As you can tell Goldengirl, it's a little too early for me!
Good question, I'll be reading along for the someday way in the future. :)

I met my ex through friends and we all know how that ended. Lol ! All kidding aside, if I do meet someone someday, I would like it to be through friends. I have no desire to do the online thing. I think I would feel more comfortable dating someone that people I know and trust, know and trust this person. Obviously, it's no guarantee, and if it doesn't work out, it can be awkward, I suppose. I'm curious about other's experiences.

Met someone at the gym..Nothing serious but getting to know each other right now. A couple casual dinners out and lots of talking. So far its been a nice first experience after 2+ years. Don't know if it'll go anywhere but am enjoying the special treatment and being admired and appreciated again.

I had dated a man I met through Meetup, I just wasn't feeling it so it fizzled but I felt safe dating him because of our Meetup association. I had decided to concentrate on my house situation and then my retirement next year and not date for awhile but one of my co workers wanted to set me up with one of her parents friends (gosh I feel old) at first I said no and she said ok, when you're ready but I finally said ok and we have had a few dates. It is going pretty good but I am taking it slow and he knows it. I think I'd rather meet and date someone that I was lined up with than meeting someone on line, at least for now....never say never, right?

Think of it this way. Dating should be FUN! Go, have a good time and don't angst about anything. Your in control now, and you can do what you want!

I would prefer to meet men through friends. That way someone knows his history and character. It eliminates a lot of the fear in dating at my age. Since trust is a big issue for me, I over worry about safety. Meeting strangers has been too overwhelming for me and I don't like it. So being set up or introduced is far more cofortable for me.

I would think that going out with someone who is a friend of a friend would be ok, depending on how YOUR friend represented you to this friend of theirs. I never liked the idea of being "fixed up" or (worse yet) blind dates and would still prefer to meet someone through my church or one of my volunteer activities. I met a guy in January 2014 down at the local watering hole on BINGO night. We hit it off and dated regularly for about 6 months (before he left on his motorcycle for the summer). It was fun! He was very nice, but obviously not interested in a serious relationship.

That and the fact that I DON'T do "friends with benefits" may be one reason why we aren't dating anymore, but we're still friends and get together every once in awhile.

cowgirl I Hear ya....it seems all the men out there are only interested in SEX and that is not happening with me....no way........no FWB .....so in that case I have not dated in 6 years since the divorce.....i actually think i am better off.....the men I have met in recent months have made me realize why I don't date.....jerks....most of them anyway.....

sadmom51: I'm not saying that I'm not interested in sex, BUT I just don't share that part of myself with someone unless there is a mutual commitment to monogamy AND some indication of a future together.

Please try NOT to categorize "all men" or any group of people, for that matter. My feeling is, if you haven't dated in 6 years, you still may not be ready. Take your time and look 'em over CAREFULLY!

I have the same problem, the ones I have met, all they want to do is shake the sheets. Sorry, not interested in a one night stand either. I am sure that there are men out there that are just as scared as we are. I was enquiring about refinishing my dining room and had a nice chat with a divorced man. But the first words out of his mouth was how much his ex soaked him for. Wow, next please. I scooted out of there fast. My radar with up into full gear.

1) i'm not meetable through friends, (maybe that is good as i'm probably not someone you'd want to meet - haha)
i think there are a lot of divorced/separated men like me.

in that the mutual friends, the couple friends, and the men friends that don't want to catch grief from their wives all pretty much side with the divorced / separated woman.

even when the woman is a pig, often her pigginess is hidden, or in some sick way; justified (pig = cheater)

so in my small town, the circle of friends is drawn, and i'm on the outside

2) this is not my thought process but i can tell you how in general some men think if they experienced 1) above

why be a nice guy? you gonna get f*&^$# in the end, judged as a creep by the closed circle, the circle that accepts the pig and considers you unworthy. i can see why a guy might want to just jump bones especially after being ostracized even though he was a good, principled man

3) this not my thought process, but one closer to where i'm at, soi can tell you how in general some men think if they experienced 1) above

when the circle closes and you are on the outside at the time you need friends, a friend, they are scarce, your left with baggage not of your making, no idea how to pack it, and then if you decide maybe it is time to date, well dam straight you might carry it a bit awkwardly since you don't know the circle protocol

4) i'm not ready so i don't have the path mapped out but

- 1st date, eye test, can we laugh, can she laugh at herself, are we same general intelligence
- 2nd date (she must be a nutbird to have said yes to a 2nd date with me)
similar to the first but explain that ideally a few more dates would allow us to put all cards on the table
-those few more dates : this is my baggage, all of which makes me me, most of which i consider good, some bad that i'll always bare and some i'm working on discarding,
what is your baggage?
what do you want from me? i'll tell you what i have to give


okay so now after these dates, you can see that i'm the nutbird but you would know

- would be, committed, exclusive, monogamous, not marry
- don't think i could love you as much as i love my kids
- would want yo to love me as much as you love your kids
- don't know what the next level below is but i'd be looking to grow towards that
- you'd know that you can trust me
- you'd know that it all ends if i can't trust you


phew: - the good news is that you;
- won't meet me through friends
- likely won't like my profile on a site
- likely will be wrapped up in impressing your circle of friends to see me for who i am
which is why, a once relaxed easy going guy, would be a jumble of nerves on a date, because even though i am comfortable in my own skin, with my conscience, the isolation is draining, so that is why i'd be sticking my neck out, even though rejection is just someones way of knowing that there is no compatibility,
if you are a man like me it took a lot to refurbish an utterly broken heart and betrayed soul to put yourself out there. If i ever do, i'll be awkward, awkward because i'm real but it seems that the ladies, the circle jerk ladies, prefer a well polished turd

Refurb..... Why on earth do you speak so negatively about yourself like that? Stop it.

I'm with you MNMama. It's called the female code. Female friends in particular don't let friends meet men.....until their the man puts a ring on the finger !!! If a female friend does, she's intentionally passing on her reject. It's a bad set-up much like the MM candy commercial to be devoured. LOL!!!