Sorry your having a bad day. My Visa was part of the settlement too, and the children of my father had run it up pretty high in the months before he left.

But as it was my card , I was responsible for the debt.

I got set up big time. I told my financial planner about it when I figured out what he was doing, attorney #1, attorney#2 and attorney #3. All said what a terrible thing for him to do to me. Not one of them has done anything to try and change the arrangements or tell me that they couldn't. This alone has caused so much unnecessary stress for me for a year. And my husband, who is supposed to provide support for me until we're divorced, has gotten away with murder. How is he allowed to do this?

All of the debt is "marital." Welcome to my world, even doing litigation I am still getting screwed. You need to settle with him or you are going to be wasting $10's of thousands on attorneys and BS.

Thanks for the advice, moving on. Doing my best to settle but am slowly seeing that my husband is winning. I have done everything right and still, I'm getting the short end of the stick. I'm being forced to agree to less than I need and I haven't asked for that much. Everyone has said it isn't out of line. But, he's a hermit and has no life so his numbers are ridiculously low. Aaah…so unfair. It seems like he's getting to do whatever he pleases and nobody's doing anything to keep him from it. I'm feeling so Discouraged. Frustrated. Exhausted. Defeated.

Partly because you let him. I know that is harsh to say, but you have let him make you believe he would pay the credit card. No one pays the credit card, or at least no one I know.

If the card is in your name, its not his problem. You continued to use it (innocently ) but racked up your own debt.

I don't know the solution so many people get screwed by this.

But one thing is to change your way of thinking. To go into every situation knowing he will screw you.

Like so many others you trusted a man who deserved no trust whatsoever. So stop that now.

I know we have been telling you this right from the beginning, but you were not able to hear it.

He may be your husband on paper, but he is not your husband anymore. He is out for himself, and its about time you did the same.

Moving on - My credit card debt was no considered marital as we did not have a joint credit card. He had his own and I had my own.

FILING for divorce doesn't necessarily mean you will have to litigate your settlement. All it means is that you INTEND to divorce. You still have the option to negotiate a settlement between you and/or using the services of a Mediator.

You say " And my husband, who is supposed to provide support for me until we're divorced, has gotten away with murder. How is he allowed to do this?"

In a perfect world, your husband would be supporting you until such time as you are divorced. HOWEVER, you are probably going to have to FILE for TEMPORARY SUPPORT ORDERS in order to have that happen. This is NOT the first time you have been advised of this.

As to attorneys #1, 2 & 3 NOT doing anything about it, THEY CAN'T! Until you actually HIRE one of them to represent you in a divorce (which means FILING FOR DIVORCE) they can't really put any legal "teeth" into the situation.

From where I sit, unless and until you actually file for divorce, your husband is going to continue to keep you out there on a financial string and allowing you to continue to run up the bill on that credit card.

Moving on is correct in his statement about marital debt. If I were in your shoes, I would use that credit card to retain attorney #3 and get the legal paperwork in motion. That gives your attorney the ability to subpoena any and all financial information that you may not have. JUST DO IT!

I don't trust him but I did think he would be legally responsible for supporting me until we're divorced. I wrongly assumed that my attorneys could make him follow through with that. They obviously cannot.

It will be money well spent. Believe me, I did it. Went for everything that I could get and more. How can you trust this man, really. Think about it. File for divorce. Go for everything that you want. Stop thinking about what the judge will say. They can see right through his shenanigans. The judge that presided in my case told him to be ready with all that was necessary and to stop playing the fool. He was forced to cough up all his financial statements. He was livid, and still is (hehehehe) I got half of everything plus more. So in other words, he lost big time. Hugs and start smiling. Honey, you will be fine.

We see this happen over and over on this board. A member comes along and says STBX says s/he will pay XYZ and in the end they dont...because it's just words, not a written agreement. Sorry you had to learn the hard way. (((HUGS))) Good luck

More likely, "siege" divorce/separation warfare most always comes in a form of starvation tactic used by some economical depletion to gain your surrender. Your ex is fully aware of the tactic partly due to his occupation. Since most at home spouses do not have unlimited resources, you must know when to nip it in the bud quickly to lessen the effect ..... by legally DIVORCING. Reality is ugly, I'm sorry.

Filing doesn't mean you have to litigate--I didn't. We settled in the 11th hour before we went to court. But the others are right--you may need to file to get what you want. In addition, you need Temporary Orders established, which means you need to be legally separated and that means file for divorce.

There is nothing wrong with you filing.

Sending hugs!

I don't get it... how can you get divorced if you haven't filed yet? I'm confused.

I agree with Krking, I don't get it either. It is going to need to get filed, even if you reach an agreement on a settlement. Why haven't you filed for temp support?