I don't know how things happen in the U.S. but I would give my lawyer all the information that existed and then let them tell me the points of law that are applicable.

I have only had first consult and am due to engage my solicitor (lawyer) soon if ex does not start talking to me. It will be expensive and I can't afford it (credit card will go sky high) but I know it has to be the way forward for me.

Hope this helps. Vxx

OK, get ready. This is from my state and I think every state is different. Bring the last 5 years of your tax returns or at least have the amounts written down. Have 401K's, all retirement, all savings, property, stocks and anything of value you have together. Bring amounts of any debt you have. Kids college costs.

Don't talk about your marriage. He/she doesn't care. This is business. If there is another woman ask about getting the money back that he spent on her. Yes, that is legal to get half back. Pick their brain for your hour and go home and think about it. Don't sign anything.

I should have read your profile again and I didn't. I can never remember how old everyone's kids are. Cover college, visitation, (if they are all older that doesn't matter) and maintenance. That's the big one. In my state if he makes $100,000 and you make $20,000 they say $120,000 income and split it. $60,000 each. Find out if your state goes that way.

Good luck to you. Keep us posted.

You're doing the right thing by writing things down. Don't worry about your emotions - we're not robots. It's a big step for you. Do the best you can. Good luck to you. I will be thinking of you.

don't worry about the tears.. the tissues will be waiting.. but finances is the biggest..its mainly what they will want to talk about..then kids length of marriage who worked and when.. what ever you don't think of they will.. good luck!!!

After I consulted a lawyer, the cheap visit, he gave me a list of things I will need to bring if I hired them. I agree with Sld1 that they don't actually care why your marriage fell apart, a good lawyer just wants to see that you get what you deserve. The lawyer I found asks for a pretty hefty retainer up front, but it's written right in the contract that any unused portion of that retainer if refunded. Ask if this law office does that. In my state, it's a no-fault state, everything is split down the middle as far as 401K, pension, assets. Other things are negotiated. When he told me how much my stbx had to pay for spousal support I was surprized, but the negotiating comes in with how long he has to pay it.

Make sure you ask about spousal support, life insurance policies, health insurance, child support (if needed) and filing fees.

Good luck to you, I hope you are plesantly surprized too.

Update>>>my appt was cancelled until wednesday..apparently he was backed up in court. so sad that there are so many family law issues that keep the courts so busy.
Probably just as well, i had a very emotional day...dont know why just one of those days and i dont want to be a blubbering idiot when i get to see him!!!

keep us posted and good luck