Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
After more than two years I saw my ex. He was coming out from my daughter's apartment as I was parking the car to pick her up for a girls weekend. -My daughter is 21 and I was married for more than 20 years- And there he was in front of me. He has gotten some big tattoo in his arm, but there he was cursing at someone in the phone and with the same sour attitude he always had. I looked at him, he saw me but kept talking-yelling-at the phone. The tought that came to my mind was this :Why did I ever marry this man?. And then I realize, after years of feeling sad, powerless to his presence, hurt and downright angry....right there in that moment I felt.....nothing.
Am serious, NOTHING. You know how sometimes you wake up in the morning because you think you heard a noise and realize...nah its just nothing. That is how I felt. I don't know how to explain it.
I waited in the car for my daughter to come down and the rest of the day,which was a great day, I kept smiling.
So this is how it feels? When you are done, you feel nothing. And that is absolutely wonderful.
Am serious, NOTHING. You know how sometimes you wake up in the morning because you think you heard a noise and realize...nah its just nothing. That is how I felt. I don't know how to explain it.
I waited in the car for my daughter to come down and the rest of the day,which was a great day, I kept smiling.
So this is how it feels? When you are done, you feel nothing. And that is absolutely wonderful.
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
When I was still in the throes of divorce, my therapist told me "One day you will run into him somewhere -- the grocery store, gas station -- and you WILL FEEL NOTHING. THAT is what it means to have MOVED ON."
Your experience in seeing the X says that you HAVE ARRIVED! WOO HOO! Good job, my friend! The rest is easy and so much fun! Thanks for making my day1
You have definitely reached that point in your life where your ex just doesn't matter any more.
It is a great feeling and I'm so glad you are there.
Hugs!
Good for you and you have a daughter to carry on after you. Simply Grande
All the best.
Re: feeling nothing....I desperately want that! I guess it will come in time. I actually moved away so that I would NOT see him and the ow ever around town. I'm just not ready. I'm hoping that the day when we do see each other again (and it is an eventuality) that I will be strong and brave and be able to look at his face and just feel grateful that I don't have THAT in my life anymore!
After a year of not seeing him, even after spending 30 years together, his face is kind of fuzzy in my mind. So to see him again and feel nothing - Yep, I sure do look fwd to that day.
,,but me getting better and him..disappearing..
Just by the by, one of the things I really wanted my ex to experience when I left was having to buy and cook his own food (as well as do his own washing and housework) so I'm afraid I have to admit to a little tiny gloat when I see him doing his grocery shopping.