Crap Lauren9...you've been to hell and back. ((((HUGS)))) Does your hubby know what your planning? I just moved out 1 month ago...I lived in the same house as my ex from Feb to Sept....it was pure hell. If you can manage to do what you need to do on the QT it would be so much easier. Good luck with this Lauren...we're here..Big Hugs...Kathy

Your spouse has confirmed once again, his lack of desire to do the work of wanting to please you. ...he has chosen discomtempt and finds nothing but fault. He can't accept healthy love . He would rather glorify some fantasy idea of others while devaluing you....a serious dysfunctional mind-set.

-SAVE YOURSELF. "You cannot make the horse drink the water".
-See the Mr Hyde for what he is. He's no prince. Knock him off your pedestal. Reality is the truth.
- Don't beat yourself up for having tried to make the "second round" of marriage work....you gave it everything you had and then some. Having the nurturing characteristic is always a good trait.

Dear Lauren, It sounds like you are going to have some difficult days ahead. I think many of here, myself included, will tell you that after the darkness you can get to a better place. It's been not quite 5 months since my stbx left for good. The days are getting better. I still have a lot of ups and downs, but when I am able to take a longer view I know that my life is going in the right direction. It must be very difficult when you are also dealing with financial insecurity. And having the responsibility of being a caregiver is also a tremendous challenge for anyone, even if the rest of life is humming along just fine. You cared for both your mother and your husband over recent years. You must be emotionally and physically exhausted. I hope that you will find some small ways to move yourself along a pathway of healing. Getting out of the marriage will be challenging, but it would seem to be the best option. It's definitely time to focus on your own well-being. {{{hugs}}}

Yes, my husband knows my plans. He's the one who wants the divorce, and as I said I'm not fighting again to save the marriage. I've accepted the fact he is very ill and there is nothing I can do to help him. The only thing I can do now is take care of myself. I want to thank all of you for your encouragement and confrimation I hope to be of help to you whenever you need me as well.

Take care,

Lauren