Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I saw this article on Tiny Buddha today and wanted to share it with all of you. Here is the link:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/nothing-will-be-enough-if-relationship-isnt-right/
It's such a simple statement and yet so profound. I know that many of you here can identify with its message. Like so many of you, I just kept trying to make my ex happy. I kept giving up more and more of myself. I lost myself in the process - completely lost myself. I truly believed that if I just tried harder, I would be able to revive and save my marriage. I've felt a tremendous amount of guilt based on the thought that I obviously didn't try hard enough or that I failed in too many areas. This simple message gave me back my peace. I hope it will do the same for each of you.
Nothing you do will EVER be enough when you are with the wrong person! Nothing! At some point, we all have to accept that we were, quite simply, with the wrong person. That's what happened. That's what went wrong. We can free ourselves of regret, guilt, shame, and self doubt by accepting that we were living in an impossible circumstance that would never have ended in happiness. It just wasn't meant to be.
No matter what happens to us now, we are finally free from a hopeless situation, which means that we can now turn toward hope and create a life that can lead to happiness, with or without a partner.
I wish you all peace, comfort, and happiness.
Kim
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/nothing-will-be-enough-if-relationship-isnt-right/
It's such a simple statement and yet so profound. I know that many of you here can identify with its message. Like so many of you, I just kept trying to make my ex happy. I kept giving up more and more of myself. I lost myself in the process - completely lost myself. I truly believed that if I just tried harder, I would be able to revive and save my marriage. I've felt a tremendous amount of guilt based on the thought that I obviously didn't try hard enough or that I failed in too many areas. This simple message gave me back my peace. I hope it will do the same for each of you.
Nothing you do will EVER be enough when you are with the wrong person! Nothing! At some point, we all have to accept that we were, quite simply, with the wrong person. That's what happened. That's what went wrong. We can free ourselves of regret, guilt, shame, and self doubt by accepting that we were living in an impossible circumstance that would never have ended in happiness. It just wasn't meant to be.
No matter what happens to us now, we are finally free from a hopeless situation, which means that we can now turn toward hope and create a life that can lead to happiness, with or without a partner.
I wish you all peace, comfort, and happiness.
Kim
"it will never be enough if who you are with is not a real person"
real people don't willfully suck the soul out of anyone else, especially their partner
I still have days when I struggle with the question "If he was so unhappy, why didn't he leave??"
love and hugs
kamary
I was with the wrong person. We fell in love as "children" (16 and 17) and it was lovely for years. But we were not well-matched as adults. We didn't have enough shared values to make it work. It was ending before the end I supposed. Plus he cheated lol!
God bless the wisdom that comes in middle age together with the trauma and drama of a marriage ended! I have never had such clarity relationship-wise. NO COMPROMISE in terms of values. None. Not for me anyway!
It's worth looking for and waiting for "the one". And if he/she doesn't come along, then I'd be happy to enjoy a life well lived with extended family and friends and personal interests etc. I'd take being alone over a miss-match for the sake of companionship anyday!