Congratulations to you! Good luck with your new 'singleness'.

I am looking forward to the day that I sign mine. Of course, I have a loooong ways to go yet, we haven't even filed yet. Gotta sell the house first.

Tell me what signing this means? Is it final? You are going to be ok. I think that is all ya need some time is the stone faced bastard thing, we
romantize the way thing are and then we see him... and how they act.

The are you alive is probably the thought you are going to do something desperate. I once said this, Oh, get overyourself, that was the me in your control, I said you should be worried about homicide, not suicide!

Big hugs to you and I just had to post something, you can do this, I did and all the strong people on here are there for you. I am on my way out the door, to show a house! LOVE to ya, another Divorcee MsTerey

Hugs and love to you Chrissy, I know it's been a long, hard, emotional day.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. Keep going. You'll do fine. We're all here for you. LOL

I know you are ok with it, but I also know it sucks! It is so difficult and it is so sad to come to this! I don't know how they can be so disgusted with us after a life time of devotion. That being said, it seems a common practice, huh!

I am thinking about you! Sending you many hugs!

I am glad you are doing o.k. I agree with MDawnR though...it sucks! You are on to bigger and better things and that is a good thing! I hope I can get a place where indifference sets in! Love and hugs to you!

Ms Terey - no it's not final. I'm not a divorcee just yet. But I signed a counter-complaint to his. I filed for myself which just means that if he withdraws his divorce decree, mine will still go through.

I know that he won't stop this divorce but I filed my own for closure for myself. This is only the first act of a long theatre production. We've still got to hash out a settlement.

Thanks for all the good wishes everyone.

I'm so sorry. It's a tough hard day when we answer their divorce papers.
Hugs to you.

Whenever you write about your husband, I swear you are writing about mine. The coldness followed by casual text.

We aren't yo-yo's! We aren't disposable!

I think it is very courageous and empowering for you to file like this. You've taken a very difficult situation that you have been thrown into and made into an experience of strength and growth. You facing this on your terms. That's a very good thing.

I wonder if some of our stbx's confusion is that we didn't react the way they thought we would. That we didn't curl up and die. My stbx even said in his email to me that he sees I'm doing so well and he keeps getting worse. He didn't see that coming!

You are so awesome Chrissy! I can't wait to meet you and give you a real gosh darn hug!

Chrissy, I am sad for you..BUT, I also admire you so much!

Many hugs to you

Chrissy, You my dear have absolutely come a long way......Heres to your new life and better days ahead!

Am I missing something here? You signed the divorce papers, but you still have to ask him for food money? Please clarify.

The sad truth is...these people who kick us to the curb (for no good reason)...they want us to be OK with it. They want us to remain friendly with them, if not be friends, and they want to feel comfortable texting us, calling us, pretending that nothing horrible happened and (especially) that they didn't do anything wrong and/or that hurt us.

They want us to be ok with it.

They want us to say that we're ok with it all, that it just didn't work out, that we're happy to move on, etc.

I will never understand how they figure that it makes any sense.

I will move on, but I'm NOT ok with what my husband did to me and to our family. And, I never will be. He's not my friend and I'll never feel friendly towards him. I don't want to text with him, talk to him, see him, or have any contact with him. I don't like him and I wouldn't appreciate a total stranger treating me with the disrespect that he treated me.

I don't know what makes these fools think we should be ok with them.

I guess they need us to, so they don't have to face the reality that they did something really skanky and disgusting.

They make me wonder if I can trust anyone. :(

This sounds like my stbx - he e-mails and texts with regularity, but hates to talk face to face or over the phone. I think the guilt is too much. Then when we do talk it is without emotion and a blank coldness in his eyes, or else he starts crying? What is up with that? We are in the final 30 day period, papers signed and filed, just waiting out the time and then it will be over. Of course, I still hope deep down inside he will wake up and realize what he has walked away from. But I am really getting deep into that indifference phase.
He is still not happy and my opinion is that his single hood is not all he thought it was cracked up to be. Only difference is that he comes and goes when he wants (but, hey, he did that when we were married - I was the cool wife - I never called when he was with buddies or never told him he could not do something), and now he has to handle all his stress on his own, without me to buffer his family and job and finances. I hope he finds what he is looking for, but I doubt he will because you cannot go back to the time when you were young.
I am proud of you for taking matters into your own hands. And, remember, you deserve respect - and demand it. Never lower yourself to anyone's wishes, hold your head up and smile. That drives them nuts! And then it feels so good when they look confused as to why you are so cool and happy. Hugs to you.

I'm with CarolAnnie on that train of thought. While I was in the heat of battle for a settlement that would ensure my financial security for the rest of my life, I also was constantly appalled at how the man I had spent 30 years of my life with just wanted me to "be ok with it" and continue to be friendly with him. I told friends and family that "he simply had a complete and total moral collapse" because I could not understand for the life of me how he could have blindsided AND betrayed me one day and expect me to settle for crumbs the next!
But God is good and my faith is the only thing that got me through the 18 months of Hell. Now I am 20 months post final divorce and have moved on quite well: met the Man of My Dreams over a year ago and we are building a wonderful new life together here on the little farm which has been my home for 20 years.
As far as the ex is concerned, I could care less what happens to him. Yes, I still pray for his well-being (and part of that is so he doesn't die while he is still paying me Alimony!) but I have absolutely no desire to see him, talk to him, travel in the same social circles as he does -- nothing. He didn't want anything to do with me anymore, therefore he has no right to know anything about me or what I am doing with my life these days.
Forgiveness? Well, I suppose I can forgive him for being stupid, but Hell may freeze over before I will ever forgive the act of betrayal and the emotional damage his selfish actions wrought on me.