When someone figures it out can they help me too?

Pemdcat: You're nicer than I would be. Maybe you will be able to handle being friends with her. It would be good for your daughter.

Don't beat yourself up. The next time you have to see her and she's being really nice, have plans or reasons why you can't stay.

Good luck.

I thought I did have and excuse but I guess I do have pitty for her, and she just knows how to play me......I need to be re-tuned I guess......

Because you are a caring, kind ,considerate person...thats why!! I would venture to say everyone on this site is.. which is why we are all in this predicament!! You are an honorable man..she blew it big time!
There are weird vibes in the air today which is causing us all to second guess ourselves??? I hate that our ex's have done that to us...maybe its the moon alignment????????

pemdcat you are just too caring. Maybe give her the name and number to a good handyman. Honestly I have started to think about things they may need to be fixed once my STBX is gone. I am a realtor and have several business cards for handymen. I would never call my STBX because I do not want to show that I may still be dependent on him. Now he said he would take care of anything for me but I won't let myself go there. I can't. I feel this is his way of holding on to me and maybe yours feel the same way. Wants her cake and eat it too. If there is another man in her life, tell her to call him. She is no longer your concern.

I am sorry for your frustrations! Once again, a control issue! Think about it though...who knows us better than they do? Sometimes, I think he knows me better than I know myself! They know how to get to us, manipulate us, and control us! After all, the lived with us for many years!!!!!

Hang in there! They do have a spell over us and yes we are the caring ones! This site is full of caring people who would not take advantage of people, as they have!
Sending you many hugs!

You're so used to doing - it's probably just a habit for you. I bet you even find a little enjoyment in it, huh? As long as you didn't do the windows - you're all right in my book. I hope you're feeling okay after seeing her though. Sometimes I think that's the worst. Better not to see them at all (if you can avoid it). Your daughter's so different, of course! See her as much as you can - always! She knows she has a very special Dad! LOL

Once a nice person, always a nice person (and visa-versa). You can't change who you are inside just because you divorced her. You just gotta accept that you are a wonderfully nice guy - not such a bad thing. You can't seperate yourself from being that nice guy just because it's your X who needs something. I believe you would have done it for anybody cuz that's just who you are. Big hugs for the nice guy.

Chrissy I think you are right, Sometime I wish it weren't so but, I am who I am...like popeye said...

She's a user, and you're not.

I'm so sorry.

My counselor says that we can't just change what we do overnight. The best thing he said to do is make a decision before you meet or talk on the phone. So, I would my boundaries set before I went. So now that you know, you can do the same. You weren't betrayed so it's probably not as big of a deal. It's normal to be who you are, which is kind,so don't beat yourself up. But if you want to not do it, set yourself up for all the scenarios and be prepared. But it was a really nice thing to do. LOL. I'm sure she appreciated it!

You are a sweet, kind hearted person and you do the right thing even when it might put you out. You will get another star in your crown in heaven for treating your ex with love and respect, even when she sure doesn't ever deserve it. Never be sorry for doing a kindness for another---remember Jesus told that it is easy to be nice to those that love you, but the reward in heaven comes from being kind to those who are your enemies.

Thanks TB. you are absloutely correct...

Because you are a nice person. That's nothing to be ashamed of, rather something you never want to lose. If you end up doing things for your ex that you would rather not, so be it - because if you didn't, you would lose something in your core that mnakes you special. Never regret kindness - you can work on setting better boundaries, but never regret kind acts.

Because you are who you are! Next time you get those handyman feeling...find a divorced woman or a woman alone who could use some help. Pay if forward!

I hate to ask anyone to do too much for me, but have been blessed by help from many kind people. I swore if I ever date anyone I am not going to put him to work, I have seen that from single friends...

It sounds like you are suffering from seeing her. It stirs up all kinds o feelings. You would have done this for any one is my guess, it was just HER!