Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I called my stbx tonight asking for food money - he just gave our son $250 for his car repairs yesterday and his response to me was that he gave Jesse money, he wasn't giving me some too. So I responded with, so basically we have to choose between paying for Jesse's car repairs or food. Then he told me to get a "real" job. Well, it escalated from there until I told him he doesn't have a say anymore in what I do with my life and I said "goodbye" and hung up on him while he was still bitching. Afterwards, in my anger, I sent him the texts you will read below.
I want to send him the emial below, but I don't know if it's wise - what do you all think?
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In case you didn't get all my texts last night - I'll tell you again,
I've sent out over 30 resumes and gone on 6 interviews in the last 5 months and I continue to look every day. If that's not enough for you, too bad. Not including the one I just sent to Mike for a job I know absolutely nothing about, so get off my case.
Why don't YOU get a 2nd "paying" job so you can support your own kids (even though we both know you already have one with Ross). I haven't asked you for anything for myself.
.....end of texts......
I'm going back to college - I'm almost 50 and if I want to live comfortably 10 years from now and into my retirement, I need my degree so I can get a good paying job for the last 15 working years of my life. And by the way, I don't need your permission or approval for this decision. I will NEVER make the amount of money you will even with a degree so quit your boohoo me pity party.
I am NOT quitting my 2 jobs unless I find a job that suits all MY needs, NOT YOURS.
If you don't want to give us money for food, then I'll go get Food Stamps. I'll bring Nikki to your mom and dad's as soon as this bag of food is gone because Food Stamps doesn't cover dog food (or any other non-food item).
So go ahead and get your new hunting boots, your new tennis shoes, your new clothes, your hair cut whenever you need it, a car wash weekly, driving all the way to Ohio to hunt, while I choose between paying for Jesse's car repairs and food.
If you read anger into this email, then for the first time you will be right. When you take food out of your own kids mouth while you continue to live the single dream life, I have good reason to get angry.
Just so you know, I'm forwarding this email to my attorney - you may want to give it to yours as well.
Have a great day.
I want to send him the emial below, but I don't know if it's wise - what do you all think?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In case you didn't get all my texts last night - I'll tell you again,
I've sent out over 30 resumes and gone on 6 interviews in the last 5 months and I continue to look every day. If that's not enough for you, too bad. Not including the one I just sent to Mike for a job I know absolutely nothing about, so get off my case.
Why don't YOU get a 2nd "paying" job so you can support your own kids (even though we both know you already have one with Ross). I haven't asked you for anything for myself.
.....end of texts......
I'm going back to college - I'm almost 50 and if I want to live comfortably 10 years from now and into my retirement, I need my degree so I can get a good paying job for the last 15 working years of my life. And by the way, I don't need your permission or approval for this decision. I will NEVER make the amount of money you will even with a degree so quit your boohoo me pity party.
I am NOT quitting my 2 jobs unless I find a job that suits all MY needs, NOT YOURS.
If you don't want to give us money for food, then I'll go get Food Stamps. I'll bring Nikki to your mom and dad's as soon as this bag of food is gone because Food Stamps doesn't cover dog food (or any other non-food item).
So go ahead and get your new hunting boots, your new tennis shoes, your new clothes, your hair cut whenever you need it, a car wash weekly, driving all the way to Ohio to hunt, while I choose between paying for Jesse's car repairs and food.
If you read anger into this email, then for the first time you will be right. When you take food out of your own kids mouth while you continue to live the single dream life, I have good reason to get angry.
Just so you know, I'm forwarding this email to my attorney - you may want to give it to yours as well.
Have a great day.
He's a jerk but you need to win. He will lie. Be calm and collected at all times. LOL That's impossible but I can dream can't I?
Rewrite it how Sue?
Since you left us I've had to reevaluate my family needs. I'm almost 50 and need to go back to college. I have the children to worry about and support. It's been very difficult.
I will never be able to make the money you do. In order to support the children I need you to provide xy&z. (put in food, college for you and the children, clothes etc.)
I understand you desire to hunt out of state, buy your new boots, your new tennis shoes and your wonderful new wardrobe but the children you brought into the world need to eat.
I am waiting to hear how you would like to take care of our children. I know you're not happy with my two jobs but I'm doing the best I can. If you have a better suggestion, I'd be willing to listen.
Chrissy: I'm probably being too bitchy with this but think about it. Hugs to you. Check my spelling.
How many jobs does he expect you to work? I know - it's just so hard putting all these things together - for all of us. It's so hard and it hurts so much. Chrissy, just hold on and move forward. He doesn't deserve your love or respect right now. Things will work out. LOL
I sure understand your anger Chrissy, but i guess i would take the advice of those more experienced!!!
I thought you were different. I thought you had staying power and a commitment to our marriage and family. Our children will never have the benefit of our family again. That saddens me so much.
He says he'll still support the kids, but who knows.
He's in for one hell-uv-a shock when the settlement is finalized.