Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

I haven't posted much lately

Chrissy614
Chrissy614
Hi all, I know I haven't posted much lately but I've been really busy trying to keep up with my jobs. I think it's a good thing for me to be really busy right now. Tired, but busy.

I feel like I haven't been able to contribute much since my divorce was final a couple of weeks ago, but I come and read every day. I put in a reply when I feel I can help but I am following all the posts and journals.

Now that's it's finally over I do find myself more with more anger than I had previously. I think it's because I know he's finally free to live his life without looking over his shoulder. He's divorced and can date whomever he wants. That's hard for me to think about but I don't dwell on it.

All in all I'm in a good place right now. Everyday is no longer a struggle and I am finding my own place in the world as a single person. Still don't like it much, but I will always make the best of a bad situation. No sense dwelling on the negative when you can create the positive yourself.

I just wanted you to know that I'm still here, kind of, and I think about you all everyday. I'll be back in full swing sometime soon, right now I just need to regroup and refocus.

All my love.
Chrissy
deleted_user
deleted_user
The day I received my papers in the mail, I sat on the kitchen floor and cried. The next day I found myself getting more angry by the second. Like you, I thought about all he was now free to do. I was still stuck with cleaning out the house, consoling our kids, trying to find a job, etc. I was mad for a long time. If I were to tell the truth I'd have to say I am still mad at times. Sounds like you are getting through the day as best you can. I wish you the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Happy to see you here. I've had more anger the last few months then I have had through this entire ordeal. I guess I'm angry because it didn't have to end this way. How stupid. Years and years of being together and the final reward is - nothing.

It is better to busy yourself. It seems to keep you focused on other things. And, believe it our not - there's a whole world going on out there as we sit in our grief. Good luck to you, Chrissy. Much love.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So good to hear from you. Please do check in now and then. Miss you so!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are free to do whatever (and date whomever!) you want too, Chrissy.

You know what they say...Living well is the best revenge....

:)
pemdcat
pemdcat
It is a little unsettling just after the divorce is final, for me it was a time of reflection as to where I had been, and to where I was going.....take whatever time you need,.......regardless we are here
stopthistrain
stopthistrain
The day my husband walked out is the day he no longer looked over his shoulder. He felt free to move in with the skank and start to raise HER son (not talking to his own). Now the the actual divorce process is starting , i believe he will just be free to Marry her. Not sure how I will react.
Chrissy, I always look forward to your posts and you have helped so many. You do whatever you need to do and if it helps you , we know you will come and share (like you always do !!)
Thanks and hugs always
L
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do what you need to do for yourself. I'm sure this is another one of the many stages we go through during this. Start you new life and make the best of it. Hugs.
sfsoccermom
sfsoccermom
Chrissy, as you have given us all support, we support you in whatever ventures you undertake. Good luck and know that your DS family is always here to lend an ear. Hugs always. Sheryl
deleted_user
deleted_user
Miss you on the boards but know there are times when we all have to step back for a bit and reflect, regroup and refocus. Healing is a journey and it has its ups and downs. Time is your friend. The anger is normal. Just focus on good things for you, nurture yourself, enjoy your time to reveal the new Chrissy. The world is a better place because of you, my friend. Big hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You have a right to those feelings. Thanks for sharing them. My divorce should go to trial in June and I imagine I will have a range of feelings from hurt to depression to anger.

I pray that some day you too will live w/o looking over your shoulder. Someone said to me, "he doesn't pay you enough to rent space in your brain." It helps me stop myself when I waste too much energy thinking about him. He's my past, but my future will be brighter (and hopefully better in bed too.)