Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Guess what - I have my settlement court date tomorrow and I just found out at 7:30pm tonight from my stbx of all people.
Somehow I didn't get the notice from my lawyer's office and if my stbx hadn't called me about trying to come to an agreement before court, I wouldn't have even known.
So according everyone, if we agree on a settlement offer, my divorce could be final tomorrow. But.....don't get too excited.....he's already told me he's turning down my counter-offer.
All I'm asking for in my counter offer that is different from his is $500 spousal support, for now, until he gets a job and he said "are you nuts". $500 a month, that's it (for now) and he's having a heart attack.
He thinks he's already being generous with half his severence pay, which is not much, and half his 401K which is also not much.
He said I can take him back to court anytime his income improves and I said how would I know that....are you going to tell me? Complete silence from him. I then said I guess I'll have to have my lawyer followup with it every other month or so to find out or you can be honest and truthful for once and tell me. Complete silence again.
I am a little shaken up about having this sprung on me with no warning. My lawyer's office screwed up big time, but this may be a blessing in disguise. Since I didn't have any warning, I don't really have time to dwell on the fact that I could possibly be divorced by tomorrow. It's still a possibility if his lawyer tells him to accept my counte-offer.
So instead of losing a weeks sleep and anxiety attacks about it possibly being final, I don't really have time to think to long about it.....it's tomorrow at 8a.m.
Ironic that my latest journal entry I talked about this exact day. What to expect, how will I react, I didn't even have time to call anyone to come with me. I'll be there alone. Not sure how I'll feel about that.
But as of now I have no choice. I guess I'll just show up tomorrow and see what happens. Need some positive energy sent my way for this. I know you'll all be there with me.
Somehow I didn't get the notice from my lawyer's office and if my stbx hadn't called me about trying to come to an agreement before court, I wouldn't have even known.
So according everyone, if we agree on a settlement offer, my divorce could be final tomorrow. But.....don't get too excited.....he's already told me he's turning down my counter-offer.
All I'm asking for in my counter offer that is different from his is $500 spousal support, for now, until he gets a job and he said "are you nuts". $500 a month, that's it (for now) and he's having a heart attack.
He thinks he's already being generous with half his severence pay, which is not much, and half his 401K which is also not much.
He said I can take him back to court anytime his income improves and I said how would I know that....are you going to tell me? Complete silence from him. I then said I guess I'll have to have my lawyer followup with it every other month or so to find out or you can be honest and truthful for once and tell me. Complete silence again.
I am a little shaken up about having this sprung on me with no warning. My lawyer's office screwed up big time, but this may be a blessing in disguise. Since I didn't have any warning, I don't really have time to dwell on the fact that I could possibly be divorced by tomorrow. It's still a possibility if his lawyer tells him to accept my counte-offer.
So instead of losing a weeks sleep and anxiety attacks about it possibly being final, I don't really have time to think to long about it.....it's tomorrow at 8a.m.
Ironic that my latest journal entry I talked about this exact day. What to expect, how will I react, I didn't even have time to call anyone to come with me. I'll be there alone. Not sure how I'll feel about that.
But as of now I have no choice. I guess I'll just show up tomorrow and see what happens. Need some positive energy sent my way for this. I know you'll all be there with me.
His loss. Too bad so sad. You are strong and wonderful. We all have your back. When you go in there think of all of us sitting there cheering you on. Hugs my friend.
As sld1 said, head up, be proud, go in with your best "sassy self".....you tried your best to save your marriage and he is a fool to let you go. Be good to yourself, you are not to blame
If you need us we are here.....nevah forget it.....we are here for you , we are here for each other......
GO GET"EM Tiger
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L
Where are you expecting that he gets that extra money if he does not have a job?
I just advised a gal from WMart that went back to court as her ex lost his job and could not pay child support. The judge did what I thought, he reduced it to a bare amount, gave the ex the order to look for a job and report time place etc to court weekly, at he had to apply at least 5 places per week and have proof. It was better than I thought, I thought he would make him do it monthly.. now weekly. As unemployment is tops 450 a week for anyone, he paid 50 a week for Csupport. You can not get blood from a stone.
You could revisit maintenance at time of employment if you have a good lawyer. It can be modified is what the legal term, and left as an open court order.. Keep your emotions under control, this is all business.. Message you later.. Big Hug